


Adult Underground

by Hibaakaiko



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel (Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Anger, Butt Plugs, Cuddling & Snuggling, Declarations Of Love, Depression, Dildos, First Dates, Flashbacks, Flirting, Fluff and Smut, Hallucinations, Inanimate Object Porn, Love Confessions, Lube mess, M/M, Panic Attacks, Porn Shops, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sex, Vibrators, graphic discriptions of violence, lots of imagination, male masturbation toys, porn dvds, real dolls
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-07-15 18:05:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7233097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hibaakaiko/pseuds/Hibaakaiko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU<br/>Wade is a very lonely author who has just moved to New York City.  In order to support his bachelor lifestyle, Wade goes on a hike to the best adult toy shop in his area, an emporium four blocks away from his apartment.  Only, on his way he spots a new store opening just down the block from him.  And in that store?  All the porn and toys a guy could ever want or need.  And a cashier sexy enough to take his breath breath away.<br/>But in the brightly lit toy section of the store, Wade finds something else that makes his heart race and his palms sweat almost as much as the kid behind the register.<br/>Life is about to get very interesting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Adult Underground Best Porn Store Around

To say that Wade Winston Wilson AKA Deadpool was a lonely man was like saying that the Japanese speak Japanese. Understatement of the fucking year, and DUH. So everywhere he went he had a mental map of all the adult bookshops in the area. There was a notebook with a complete list including store inventory and hours somewhere in his cluttered possessions but he wasn't sure where he had put it.

He was in New York, his new home base now, living in a seedy Queens neighborhood. He HAD been living in San Francisco but all the warm humid weather wasn't working for his skin. Wade had packed up everything he owned and drove across the country in his old jalopy just last week. And today, well today folks, today he was scouting the adult stores in his area.

In fact, Wade was on his way down the road to the nearest porn shop that very second. There was one not even four blocks away! Lucky him, right? He ambled up to a stoplight whistling a random song waiting for the light to change so he could cross the street.

“What do we have here?” Wade asked himself as his eyes roamed the surrounding shops and buildings. It was a brightly painted building with a big bright banner exclaiming 'Opening Sales! Everything 20% to 50% Off!'. Just a few days ago he had taken note of some sexy looking painters putting a fresh coat on that building while out shopping. So, there was a new store in the neighborhood. “Adult Underground?”

When the light changed Wade found himself crossing the street and walking towards the new store. It looked like an adult toy store. The frosted windows, the gaudy neon sign that pronounced the store's name (Adult Underground? Really, who had come up with such a stupid name?)...and as Wade got closer he realized there were silhouettes of naked women carved into the frosting. It WAS an adult store!

“Oh hell yeah!” Wade whooped happily. This new store was only a block from his place, and if it was better than the one four blocks away? He would be doubly blessed. He dug out his wallet fishing his ID out. They never asked him for his ID but he made sure they saw it anyways. He didn't want to get anyone into trouble or fired just because THEY were too lazy to ask to see his ID, it was a federal policy (or at least Wade thinks it is), and a policy was a policy.

He walked in through the double doors a small bell jingling to announce his entrance. The space inside was HUGE, much bigger than it looked like on the outside. Wade was grinning from ear to ear from under his two hoods and mask. It was like he had walked into his best wet dream...or he was writing the opening to a new trashy sex novel.

“Hello Sir,” A cashier greeted him from his left. Wade turned to...oh wow, how old WAS this kid? He looked like sixteen or something. “Can I help you?” The kid asked tilting his head, cute messy hair falling into hazel eyes.

“Will you marry me?” Wade gushed moving to lean against the counter the teen sat behind. Inside the counter's glass display case were some pretty impressive, pretty expensive Real Dollllc accessories. Maybe his Boy Toy Doll could use a new cock...

“What?” The kid was blushing from the roots of his messy hair all the way down his neck and into his shirt. Wade had to wonder just where that blush ended as his attention turned away from the toys back to the incredibly attractive guy. “Uh...can I see your ID.”

“Sure thing hot stuff,” He flirted outrageously holding out the card. It had his picture on it but his name? Well his name changed on a regular bases depending on where he was, how he was feeling, what day of the week it was, and what sort of pokemon was in the leading position of his team. The ID that he had provided was one of Wade's favorites.

“Okay...Pizza DeHut...” Peter said with a frown looking from the red and black mask in the photo to the guy before him. Wade was wearing two sweat jackets, both deep hoods up hiding his face. “Could you...uh...”

“Oh, you need to see my face, of course. Sorry,” He pushed his hoods back and sure enough he was wearing a red and black mask like the one in the picture.

“I'll let you in THIS time...Mr. DeHut, but NEXT time you better have a real ID or I'll toss you out on your ass.” The teenager said face crumpling into a ticked off expression that sent shivers up and down Wade's spine. “My name's Peter, if you need any help don't hesitate to give a shout.” The kid grabbed an open text book that was nearby and pulled it in front of him putting it up on its edge so he could hide behind it.

Awe, well if that wasn't the cutest thing ever. Well, Peter, your face is going right into my spank bank. Wade walked off because, as much fun as it was to flirt with a hot teen who was probably jail bait, it was more fun to look around the store. Because, just from a glance, this was surely a very kinky land he had stumbled into. There were leather clothing, latex ones as well. Floggers and other implements of sexy pain. And that was the most vanilla things in the whole store. You name a kink and they had supplies for it.

Adult diapers (yeah, I know what you're thinking), premium fake blood for that perfect imaginary snuff scene. A lot of the things were for couples, sex swings, cages, suspension gear...nothing that Wade could really use on his own. But there was an absolutely huge adult entertainment section that he made a bee line for.

Very well organized, Wade was grinning from ear to ear again as he all but bounced over to one of his favorite sections. “Awesome! I didn't know the new one was out!” Wade snatched up a copy of 'Luscious She-males 7' before he just started to look around at random (he always found his best porn that way).

He probably spent an hour browsing the titles of the vast array of porn that surrounded him....well maybe not an hour but certainly long enough that Peter came back into the porn area.

“Sir?” Wade yelped nearly jumping out of his many hoodies and sexy boots.

“Don't sneak up on a guy like that!” Wade gasped whirling to face Peter who looked nearly as startled as Wade felt.

“I'm sorry I didn't...do you need help with anything?” His eyes fell to the huge stack of dvds in Wade's hands and he went red, sputtering slightly. “'Cream Pie Sloppy Seconds'? I have the whole series, that's a really good...” He cleared his throat trying to sound normal again, “That's like the best gay porn we carry, in my opinion. Uh, we have numbers two and three in the stock room they've already sold out on the shelves...if you want I could get them for you?”

Wade smirked glancing from the title to the flushed teenager, “There are many things you could help me with...but in the pg13 field, where are the solo toys?”

Peter made an angry strangled sound his flush already starting to disappear, “I don't like being propositioned by innuendos, sir.” He motioned Wade to follow before he disappeared around a corner and up a short set of stairs. Wade hurried to follow not at all ashamed of his 'propositioning with innuendos'. Hey, he was a fucking lonely as hell bachelor here. If he didn't hit on everything that moved what kind of single guy would he be?

“Oh, Merry Christmas Wade!” He gasped as he caught up to Peter and found the largest toy chest he had ever seen in his life. Peter rolled his eyes tidying up a disheveled rack of lubricants before he disappeared again leaving Wade to drool over some pretty impressively sized butt plugs. Oh you know Wade Wilson's a size queen. If you don't you're reading the wrong fanfiction honey.

Moments later Peter reappeared with a basket, setting it beside Wade, “Figured you could use that.” He rolled his eyes yet again adding a sigh when Wade squealed and dumped his dvds in along with a new, mega sized butt plug. “Remember, shout if you need help.” Just as quickly as he had come in with a solution to Wade's problems, he was gone.

That was okay because Wade had a whole royalty check to burn through on these here toys. Yeah, sure a lot of the toys on the market were made for girls but there were a shit ton that were made with guys like Wade in mind. He grabbed a new bullet vibe (his old one had vibrated itself to death last night). He turned to look for the next item on his mental list, a new stroker. He had a ton of them, but his motto was, 'one can never have too many masturbation tools or lube. Especially if you're single or have been married for a while.'

The problem was choosing a new friend to take home. There were so many, maybe something hands free? Or one of the more expensive ones that had internal movement...just as he was about to get frustrated with just how many fun things there were to chose from something white and oddly shaped tugged at the corner of his vision. Frowning he looked away from the male masturbators to what appeared to be a small pile of plush toys.

Some kid must have dumped their collection in the middle of the store, Wade ignored it to go back to his original question. Which toy? The thought 'some kid fucking dumped their toys in the middle of a sex shop, how RUDE' finally sunk in, “What the Barbra Streisand?” His attention snapped back to the pile of plush toys. They were actually carefully stacked in a wooden bin, Wade realized, a sign above them declared, 'Plush Masterbators.' Because, duh, kids wouldn't be playing in a sex shop, really Deadpool?

Wade actually shrieked hands coming to his cheeks. Towards the front of the store there was a clatter and loud crash but he ignored it, bouncing over to the toys. They had all sorts, dogs, cats, pink freaking elephants! He froze when a single white horn protruding from the pile caught his attention. NO, fucking WAY, that couldn't be what he thought it was.

He had written an erotic story once about a man and an unicorn. That shit had flown off the shelves, but more than that, Wade had had the time of his life writing the sexy bits between the two creatures. His hand trembled as he reached out to grip the cloth horn. Giving it a tug the animal came free, showering the brightly lit toy section with random plushies. He absolutely screamed. It was an unicorn!

Peter appeared then, hobbling up the stairs as if his leg hurt. Wade turned to look at the kid, the unicorn firmly in his hands, “OH MY GOD!” He sounded like a teenaged girl at a boy band concert.

“Are you okay?” Peter asked limping closer, “I heard you scream, made me fall off my chair.”

“You have mother fucking unicorns!” Wade exclaimed ignoring Peter's question. Of course he was fucking fine! He turned his attention to the creature in his hands. The holes were masterfully hidden but with a little nudging the openings widened enough to fit almost any sort of sleeve in. There was a hole just under the tail and one in the mouth.

The teen's mouth fell open but he didn't say anything for a while, “So...that's fully machine washable...with two holes for sleeves and a mount for a dildo...this week it's fifty percent off with the purchase of Wet Uranus lubricants.”

“AND you're fifty percent off?!” Wade nuzzled the plush unicorn's nose, “That's it, you are so coming home with me. But you need a name...we'll worry about that later shall we?” Wade grabbed his basket and turned towards Peter, “You were saying something about 'Cream Pie Sloppy Seconds'?”

Peter was blushing again, how the hell did the kid work here when he couldn't stop blushing? Wade wondered deciding it was a question he would ask later, maybe tomorrow because this had just become the best shop ever, in the history of the world. And not even a herd of choppers transportizing punctured personnel could keep him away from it.

“Yes?”

“Well, I want two and three and I don't care how, ring me up my fine lad!” Wade handed over his basket but kept the unicorn firmly in hand as they returned to the front of the store. What the hell was he going to name this magnificent fellow in his arms? He was so pure white and looked so innocent but there was a sparkle in his eyes that told Wade this stud had seen somethings in his life, despite how he looked.

When they reached the register he set the unicorn down. He took up nearly the whole space in front of the till. He wasn't a small unicorn, that was for sure. He was about as long as Wade's torso, and sat perfectly with his hoofs between his legs. The unicorn gazed up at Wade with sparkling midnight blue eyes, but they weren't his most striking freature he had shiny blue hoofs made out of some sort of crinkly fabric. “SPARKLE HOOVES!” Wade suddenly shouted eyes growing huge behind his mask, “That's a PERFECT name!”

The kid winced at the volume of Wade's voice, “Shhh, I know this isn't a library but could you keep it down?” He glanced up from the item he was ringing up. “And, that is actually a pretty good name.”

“I know, right!” Wade said his voice much softer now watching Peter smirk and scan the last item.

“I'm going to fetch those two movies for you real fast,” He said before he turned away, ducking through a small door behind the counter. Peter was only gone for a few moments but Wade didn't notice as he stroked his new unicorn's fluff. He was so soft! “And I grabbed a bottle of that lubricant.” Peter said waving the bottle of Wet Uranus. Tossing it all into a big black bag he took Wade's handful of hundreds.

“Haven't made many sales today, but you're the first one with cash. Wow, I've never seen hundred dollar bills before.” Peter said seeming more comfortable behind his counter being a clerk than as a salesman. He deposited the bills and handed Wade back his change.

“Nope, Petey pie,.” Wade said too fucking happy to care about the twenty one dollars and some quarters Peter was trying to hand him. “You keep the change, take your boyfriend out for dinner tonight.” He didn't even let Peter get a word in edgewise, hurrying out of the store, unicorn under arm, bag of new toys and porn in the other hand.

“SCORE, Sparkle Hooves Unicorn!”

 


	2. Taco Dates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, Sparkle Hooves isn't alive. He doesn't move or do half the shit Wade thinks he does. It's all in Wade's kinky kinky head.

Wade had never felt more awkward in his whole life. He tugged uncomfortably at his dress shirt's collar. It probably didn't help that he was wearing a suit and tie, which he almost NEVER wore. But this was important! It was his first date with Sparkle Hooves...which made him nervous and incredibly sweaty. Which made him more uncomfortable which only made him feel a whole lot more awkward and nervous. It was a viscous cycle! All he really wanted was to make a good impression, and for the unicorn to like him.

He had ventured out into the heat of the New York summer to his favorite Mexican restaurant to pickup a whole mess of tacos. With great care he had arranged their plates on his beat up table and lit the only two candles he owned, a miss matched set of scented wax that he kept in his bathroom and bedroom. Scented candles were romantic right?

Sparkle Hooves thought so and that's all that mattered. He sat across from the stuffed toy trying to fight back his blush and shy smile, “So I've started on my new book. Actually, I got it started as soon as I got settled here. Wesley wants it done in two months even though I told him I could get it done in a month. Oh...who's Wesley? Well, I call him Weasel or Weaz normally, because he only deals in adult publications, that's a bit sleazy, amiright? Well anyways, he's my publisher and editor when I do adult themed novels.”

“Yeah, Sparkle Hooves, I actually do do none adult themed novels from time to time! They just don't ever sell as well...so I don't write many of them.” He sighed shaking his head slightly he could FEEL the unicorn rolling his eyes at him. But it wasn't in a malicious way, the gesture was almost...fond? It still embarrassed him, did the unicorn think less of him because he wrote porn for a living? “But maybe I'll do more non-adult shit, Weaz says he'll be throwing more work my way. Maybe I could write about a handsome young stallion that bursts into the real world to save the life of a lonely author...”

Wade laughed at Sparkle Hoove's quip, 'am I your unicorn knight in shining hoofs?' He really sort of was. If he hadn't had this date tonight he probably would have been out, headphones on, eating these tacos by himself in a dark booth watching everyone else have fun feeling oh so alone. Speaking of tacos, he rolled his ever present mask up shoving a whole taco into his mouth.

“Dig in, they're really good.” He implored after swallowing his mouthful. They ate in silence stealing glances at each other and smiling like idiots. Wade had known from the moment he had seen Sparkle Hooves that this was possibly love and now sitting here with the unicorn, he knew it WAS love. He had butterflies in his stomach! Wade hadn't felt like this since high school, when he hadn't looked like...

“My skin?” He paused in devouring the plate of tacos before him. Wade had already stolen all of Sparkle Hoove's tacos and was steadily munching his way through them. Right up until his unicorn had to ask the one question he didn't really want to answer. He set his taco down and sighed unhappily. “No, no...it's okay. It's an understandable question. Everyone always either just stares or asks what happened. Well...I was a Marine. Had to get my GED 'cause they don't take high school drop outs in any more, but I was stoked because I would get to be a machine gunner! Boot camp sucked but then I got to start warfare training and they let me play with SO many guns, god I went home every day after training with a raging hard on...but then I got sent out to Iraq. Which I didn't mind, 'cause, really! I got to shoot at fucking insurgents! It was the coolest job I had ever had...right up to the moment my vehicle ran over a IED...”

“What's an IED? Why, alphabet soup my dear young unicorn. It stands for Incendiary explosive device...which is a pretty dumb name if you ask me. A bomb doesn't burn AND explode, it just fucking explodes. Well it blew my happy ass up...I don't remember much for a while after that. I think I got pinned under my vehicle...which caught fire because it was leaking fuel. What I really remember clearly is waking up in an insurgent camp, tied hand and foot and blindfolded.”

“How did I know it was an insurgent camp? Duh, really Saprkle, do I look dumb? Those ass hats smell like shit and piss 'cause they never bath...or brush their teeth. This one guy had such bad breath it made me barf. Well, these ass hats thought I knew something. What that something was, I still have no fucking clue. But they started to torture me by pouring battery acid on me...some of my fucked up skin is from the fire, but a lot of it was from the acid...”

“Yeah, kinda hurts all the time but the bones in my legs, which are mostly held together by screws and plates, hurt even more. And the headaches I get from having a plate in my skull? Almost as bad as my legs. They couldn't really fix my broken nose that had healed and been broken again one too many times so now I snore and get a shit ton of sinus infections. But, I didn't break a single bone in my pelvis! If I had I would have bled to death before the insurgents could have taken me.” There was bitterness in his voice, he knew. He FELT bitter. Wade had had his legs crushed and mangled right up to his hips. He had lived months in agony, almost dying of a bad infection. He had almost lost his god damned legs, but thank god his pelvis wasn't crushed! He could have died a fast relatively pain free death if those bones had been crushed like his legs had.

“And now I have to live looking like...this.” He heaved a sigh suddenly not feeling very hungry for the tacos on his plate. He pushed them away and got up going around the table to Sparkle Hooves. He picked the plush up holding him tightly as a few tears escaped his eyes. “I know I'm crazy dude, you don't have to tell me. I've tried to end it a few times but I'm too fucking afraid...but now I have you. You kinda make life suck a little less.”

Sparkle Hooves got Wade onto the couch to snuggle him, try to make him feel at least a little better. It was working, Sparkle's soft fur under his gloved fingers was naturally calming. Wade hesitated for a few moments before he took his mask off and set it aside. “If I can't be honest with you, who can I be honest with?” He gazed into Sparkle Hoove's eyes, “This is what I look like now...no hair and fucked up skin all over my body. ALL over...”

In the eyes of his unicorn, he was beautiful. “How about we watch some TV or something?” Wade started up one of his favorite shows on hulu and they sat and watched it, snuggled together on the couch. And he had been worried that Sparkle wouldn't like him? The unicorn understood him and seemed to like all the same things that he did. 'This is going to be a beautiful relationship,' Sparkle Hooves assured him.

When it started to get late and Wade was thinking that going to bed would be a good idea, Sparkle Hooves made his move. One moment he was laying, snuggled up against Wade, the next he was on top of the former Marine, kissing him. It was shocking, Wade hadn't expected more than a goodnight kiss at the end of their first date...but soon enough he found himself naked under Sparkle Hooves, hard as a rock and not fucking caring.

He never put out on the first date. He was a lady after all! But there was just something about Sparkle Hooves that he could not resist. “I got lube in my bedroom.” Wade moaned softly as the unicorn pressed that lush bottom against his cock. He wanted to take this beautiful unicorn, press deep into him, make him feel good. “Slow down baby, get too eager and I might hurt you. We don't want that, do we? C'mon baby.”

They moved their sexy party to Wade's small but clean bedroom. Sparkle Hooves sprawled himself out on Wade's bed somehow looking even more beautiful in the dim light of Wade's bedside lamp. Wade smiled and just watched his unicorn get comfortable before he pulled out a huge box out from under his bed. Inside was his well organized stash of porn, toys and lube. “How about we use the lube that hot boy from the shop gave us?”

Wet Uranus, Wade snickered at the name. Closing the box he pushed it back under the bed. “You're not a virgin are you?” He climbed onto the bed with Sparkle running a hand up the stallion's furry belly. “No? Didn't think so.” Wade smirked popping the cap on the lubricant and dumping a good amount onto his fingers before just tossing it aside over the edge of the bed.

There was no way such a sexy unicorn was a virgin after all. Fuck, just looking at the way Sparkle was laid out did things to him. He pressed the first finger into the unicorn's ass taking his time to feel the textured surfaces of his inner walls. The moans his little unicorn gave, “Fuck, this is going to end too soon if you keep making noises like that baby.”

Soon he had four fingers inside Sparkle stretching him wide, slicking him up until he was positively dripping wet for Wade. Nuzzling the unicorn he breathed in his earthy scent, “you ready for me baby?” He whispered tenderly his fingers slowly leaving Sparkle's hot trembling body. “I want you so badly.”

Wade found himself on his back, Sparkle Hooves pinning him down but then the unicorn was lowering himself onto Wade's cock. It felt far better than he had ever imagined it would, so slick and tight around him it made his head swim. They lay there together, not moving, just panting against each other as they tried to come back down from the edge.

Neither of them wanted this to end too soon. Sparkle pulled back slightly to gaze into Wade's eyes and Wade found himself staring back heart thundering in his chest. He could see so much love in those plastic eyes. Wade rolled them over starting a slow steady pace, rolling his hips to meet Sparkle's movements.

“I got you baby,” Wade panted hands roaming down to grasp the unicorn's rump holding him still as he rutted into him. “It's okay, cum for me.” He panted one hand leaving sparkle's hip to grasp the bedding hard his thrusts speeding up as Sparkle tightened almost painfully around him.

The sound of an unicorn orgasming was magical, Wade was hooked. Nuzzling the top of Sparkle's head he slowed and stopped to give his partner time to recover. “Did that feel good?” He lovingly stroked his unicorn's hip, “you're so good for me Sparkle. God I love you.”

And even though the words had come out of his mouth while they were fucking like animals, he meant it. He rolled over onto his back again at Sparkle Hoove's urging. The irony wasn't lost on him, a unicorn riding him as if he were a stallion. Any other time he might have laughed but Sparkle was so beautiful bouncing on his dick all he could do was whimper and try to match the punish rhythm the unicorn set. “Fuck baby, getting close.”

Sparkle Hooves nuzzled him urging him on. A handful of strokes later, Wade was coming with a shout both of his trembling hands clasping the unicorn now as he emptied deep inside of the unicorn's pure white body. Holy shit did he cum hard.

They lay in silence the only sound was of them gasping for air. Judging by the mess, he had gotten his little unicorn off again. Impressive, almost as impressive as his own stamina. Even in the bed they were a beautiful match. He wrapped his arms around Sparkle just enjoying the feel of the unicorn against him. “Never gonna let you go, hope you know that.

Of course Sparkle Hooves knew that. Wade smiled beatifically, “We should get cleaned up.” He whispered not wanting to really disturb the moment, Sparkle was starting to doze off on his chest. Wade carefully slipped from his unicorn laying the creature out on the bed beside him. Sitting up he petted Sparkle Hoove's rump his other hand drawing out the dirty masturbation sleeve.

Getting up he carried the toy into the bathroom, washing it out thoroughly before setting it aside and starting up the shower. He had like a gallon of sweat and unicorn spluge on him. Not a very good state to go to asleep in if you ask Wade. “Will you look at that? Unicorns DO cum glitter.”

He stepped into the shower keeping the water temperature closer to cold than warm. His skin was too sensitive to be able to take a hot shower...or to bath too often. If he washed every day his skin got so dry it would crack and bleed. He had tried bathing every day and applying lotion afterwards for a while but it always took so much time, and there were spots that he couldn't get on his own. In the end it was too difficult to keep up so he went to a schedule of showering every other day and only applying lotion to his most trouble areas of skin.

Wade was getting disability pay from the government, of course, and all of that money was spent on buying expensive all natural, unscented soaps because everything else just destroyed his skin. He had to have the softest towels too because anything too rough would catch on his skin and before he knew what was happening there would be new wounds in his skin.

He carefully dried off applying the antibiotic cream his doctors at the veterans hospital gave him. Then came the gauze which had to be placed over the larger wounds so that they would heal properly...by the time he was done fixing himself up for bed an hour and a half had passed. Coming out of the bedroom he found his unicorn fast asleep curled up under the blankets.

If that wasn't the cutest thing he had ever seen in his life, Wade would eat his mask. Speaking of his mask, he slipped into the living room to fetch it pulling it back on. He didn't need to sleep with his mask on, he knew, Sparkle hadn't judged him before, he wasn't going to start now. But it was a habit and one he wasn't about to break just because he was dating a unicorn. Climbing into bed he reached over and flicked the lamp off plunging the room into darkness.

Sparkle Hooves shifted snuggling up against Wade. Wade smiled wrapping his arms around the animal little knowing that only a few feet away a disaster was taking place.

 


	3. Lubricant Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wade is lonely, and we should all feel sad that he needs Sparkle Hooves. But his luck is about to change! Yay! As always, let me know if I've made any spelling or grammatical mistakes etc. Enjoy!

A restful slumber without nightmares was a rarity for Wade. He awoke in increments a soft smile on his lips as he stretched out across his comfortable memory foam bed. His hand brushed against Sparkle Hooves' soft fur and he opened his eyes, rolling over to draw the plush animal into his arms. It was probably because he had gone to bed feeling so great that he hadn't had nightmares.  
Deciding that he would make plans for a second date he carefully sat up not wanting to wake his unicorn. He looked so peaceful. Swinging his legs over the edge he planted his feet on the ground ready to get his day started. Only, there was something...slimy on his right foot...”SLIME MONSTER!” he squealed throwing himself back across the bed hard enough to tumble off the other side. Landing with a sharp wheeze, knocking all the air out of his lungs his mind spun through his options.  
Slime monsters were hard to defeat, at least they were in all the games he had ever played. When he was finally able to get air into his lungs and catch his breath, he sat up looking over the edge of the bed. He had been expecting...well he wasn't sure what he was expecting from a slime monster. Crawling back up onto the bed he inched his way across it until he was gazing down at what he had stepped in.  
Lube, a rather large puddle of the stuff, the bottle sitting in the middle of it. “Shit,” He cursed vehemently remembering how he had just tossed the bottle aside without closing the cap last night. Well there went a perfectly good bottle of lube. He made a face as he got up out of bed again, careful to avoid the puddle this time, and picked the nearly empty bottle up. How the hell did you even clean this sort of crap up out of a carpet?  
With a heavy sigh Wade carried the disgusting bottle into the bathroom and dropped it into the trashcan there. He had woken in a good mood but that was quickly fading. With a damp cloth, Wade cleaned his foot off and returned to his bedside to try and clean up the puddle.  
It was an utter disaster, worse than the Exxon Valdez or the gulf oil spill. He managed to get most of it up but his carpet was still slimy and matted despite his best efforts. And his good mood was completely shot. Tossing the dirty towel into his hamper with a glower on his face he marched out of his bedroom and into his kitchen.  
Taking his pills first thing was a habit he preformed without thought. Three different bottles of psych meds, and a cocktail of pain pills was his standard breakfast. Tossing them back with a flat, stale beer he found on his counter he returned to his bedroom to glare at the carpet. No crying over spilled lube.  
Wade pulled on a pair of sweat pants, a fresh pair of gloves and another hoody. He had a phone meeting with Weaz later but for right now...he should really replace that lube. It was some good shit. Sitting on his living room couch he pulled on his beat up jungle boots (his combat boots from his good old military days).  
Maybe his day will take a turn for the better, perhaps that cute blushing teen would be there at the store. He grabbed his keys and wallet and hurried out of his tidy apartment into the filthy hallway. His super really didn't take care of the building. Wade didn't even want to think about where half the stains on the carpet had come from  
Hopping over some of the more disgusting splotches, Wade rushed down seven flights of stairs and out into the blazing heat. He was used to being overly dressed in the summer heat so he hardly noticed the blazing sun as he took a short cut across the block through a dark alleyway.  
Emerging on the other side and directly across from Adult Underground, Wade paused. If that cute boy was there...what the hell was he going to say to him? He hadn't been sweating before but oh boy, now he was. He was clearly pissed off about spilling the lube everywhere (his face was so grumpy!) but would the kid buy the story or would he think that Wade had just used the whole bottle in one night? And what sort of perv would Peter think he was? The kid was differently going to think Wade had used a whole bottle of lube in a single night!  
Heart hammering in his chest he played froger across the busy street only getting honked at once and only almost ran over two times. Gasping for breath he braced himself. He had been in Iraq for the love of chimichangas! Peter was just a handsome twink teenager who might not even be legal or even gay.  
Pushing the door open he walked into the store as if he owned the place, and sure enough Peter was waiting behind the counter. The kid looked a little surprised but a grin quickly spread across his cute features, his hazel eyes lighting up. “Just couldn't stay away could you?”  
Wade froze shoulder bunching up as he tried to make himself very small, why had he just burst in like that? Now Peter was looking at him...like THAT! “Uh...um...no, I couldn't.” He spluttered wishing he had a hand gun to blow his brains out then and there because, god, he sounded like such an idiot.  
Peter got down off his stool and came around the counter, “ID?” He held his hand out, the other on his hip making him look authoritative but still sexy as hell.  
Without thought Wade was digging his wallet out and giving Peter his real card. When he realized what he had just handed the kid he tried to reach out and take it back but Peter just danced out of the way his grin spreading. “Wade W. Wilson, huh?” Peter paused for all of three seconds when he looked at the scared face in the picture. “You're going to have to take that mask off so I can make sure this is really you...Mr. Wilson.”  
“No!” Wade exclaimed snatching his card back and stuffing it into his wallet, or at least trying. It wasn't going back in and Wade was quickly losing his cool. His panic rising to the surface again making him sweat all over and breath hard. Fuck he was going to have a panic attack right here infront of Peter, so uncool.  
“Well then I can't let you in handsome.” Peter folded his arms across his chest and despite his words his tone and body language screamed 'playful banter'. He was making fun of how ugly Wade was (come on, handsome, really?), which only made the veteran even more flustered as he finally managed to get his ID put back properly.  
Cramming his wallet back into his hoody pocket he turned to leave, “Okay.” He mumbled really starting to think he should just go back to bed and forget this day ever fucking happened. Maybe he hadn't slept soundly through the night, maybe this was actually a really twisted nightmare and any moment he would catch fire and be crushed by a flying car while Jafar from Aladan stood over him laughing and juggling jars of bright green acid.  
Peter's hand was suddenly around his wrist and Wade looked down at it with a great amount of confusion. He turned his head to look at the teen, “I was kidding...don't go.” He was blushing that beautiful scarlet hue again which completely stomped Wade's anger and frustration into dust and put out the fire of his fear and anxiety.  
“Have you changed your mind about marrying me?” Wade asked a grin coming to his face turning to face Peter when the teen let go of his wrist.  
That blush only grew darker. Peter shrugged his eyes dropping to Wade's scuffed and worn boots. “I thought we'd at least try dating before we sent out the wedding invites.” He brought his eyes back up to meet Wade's through the mask, “I mean, if you want to.”  
“Wait. Who, what, when, where and why?” Wade was pretty sure his jaw was on the floor, was this gorgeous specimen of twink hitting on him? Had Peter not actually LOOKED at his picture on the ID? That had to be it because no one in their right mind would look at Wade's picture then decide to go out with him. Maybe Peter was secretly blind?  
“Who, you, Wade. What, a date with me. When, later tonight? How about dinner together at six? Where, there's this really good Mexican restaurant...if you like that sort of thing. And why? I'm a pretty good judge of character, and I feel that you're kinda cute and funny which is sort of what I like in my men.”  
“Aren't you like sixteen?” Of course he had to stick his foot in his frigin' mouth. As soon as the words were out of his mouth Peter was glowering at him his cute blush gone in almost an instant.  
“I'll have you know I'm NINTEEN, the boss here doesn't hire underage people to run the counter or work in the store.” Peter relaxed a little though as he shifted his stance so that he was standing a little closer to Wade, “So...do you want to...go out to dinner with me or not?”  
Wade's heart almost stopped, this could all be some sort of cruel joke but if there was a chance in hell that it wasn't? “Of course! I would love to!”  
Peter's grin was so bright Wade was almost blinded, “You know where Maria's Kitchen is?” He dug in his pocket producing a mini sharpy marker.  
“Do I know where that is?! I eat there like all the time!” The veteran scoffed, in fact that was where he had gotten his the tacos for last night's date with Sparkle Hooves. Peter caught Wade's hand. “So...uh...Maria's Kitchen at six?” Wade asked eyes huge, Peter was practically holding his hand now.  
The teen took hold of the fabric that made up Wade's glove and pulled the cloth off leaving Wade's scared hand visible for the world to see...not that the four men and one women in the store were paying them any mind. No one made eye contact in a porn store. It was the unspoken rule of these sort of shops.  
“What the hell!” Wade blustered watching his glove get tossed onto the counter. Peter wouldn't give up Wade's naked hand so he just reached with the other to fetch the glove.  
“My digits.” Peter said grasping the cap of the sharpy in his sparkling white teeth pulling it off with a tug. He quickly but neatly wrote out his name and number on the back of Wade's hand. Peter Parker, 929-555-6442. “Text me, this job gets so frigin' boring. And you, Wade, entertain me so much.” The sharpy was quickly capped and put back into Peter's pocket.  
And despite his hand being naked, Wade suddenly didn't care. He had Peter's number on his hand? How the fuck had that happened? Well, duh, Peter had written it there, but why had he written it there? Maybe the number was fake? There was only one way to find out. He pulled his phone out and typed in the number and shot Peter a text.  
Peter blushed again when his phone started playing 'Let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.' Wade couldn't even, he started to giggle as Peter fished his phone out and replied with...'hi cutie'.  
It was Peter's phone number, god, he had to be dreaming. Wade was grinning so hard now that his face actually hurt.  
“So, really, how can I help you today?” Peter said his voice business like but his grin sure as hell wasn't. That look on the teen's face was positively flirtatious.  
Wade suddenly remembered why he was here in the first place and his face grew hot. “Uh...well me and the lube bottle had an accident last night?” He squeaked out so fucking embarrassed to even be talking about this with the guy he was going to be eating dinner with tonight.  
“Shit, I should have warned you! You left the cap open, didn't you? The same thing happened to me...all over my bed.” Peter sighed going back around the counter and into the store room like he had yesterday. He came out with a fresh bottle of Wet Uranus. “I swear it wouldn't be worth buying this stuff with how it tends to pour everywhere when the lid's left open but it is REALLY good lube.”  
“Yeah...it is.” Wade was still blushing under his mask but Peter didn't even seem to be phased by the fact that they were talking about anal lube here. The kid must be getting used to his job...  
Peter rung up the bottle but then he took his own wallet out (oh cool! It's a frigin' charazard wallet!) and stuck a five dollar bill in the till. “This bottle is on me.” Peter said with a wink that did funny things to Wade's blood pressure. “And I insist so put your god damned wallet away! You gave me a twenty dollar tip yesterday, this is the least I could do. Just...think of me when you use it?”  
He just nodded at a complete loss for words. Holy hell that was a direct hit, no way anyone could pretend that Peter hadn't just asked Wade to masturbate to thoughts of him. Wade had no idea how to even respond to something like that.  
Like a frightened animal, Wade turned and ran for the door his new bottle of lube clutched to his chest in its little black bag. He got safely across the street before he turned back to look at the store he had just fled from. What the fuck had happened?  
His doctors had warned him, that with his head injury, he may now suffer from hallucinations. They hadn't been blowing smoke up his ass. He saw everything from speech bubbles and thought boxes to sound Fxes around him off and on all the time. He even had some pretty vivid day dreams that were hard to tell apart from reality. But that...that hadn't been a day dream. He was pretty sure it wasn't. He looked down at his still naked hand and sure enough Peter's name and number was still there on his scared skin, standing out in big black bold strokes.  
“OH EM GEE!” He screamed yanking his glove back on before running all the way home. He needed to tell Sparkle all about what had just happened. Hopefully he wouldn't be too jealous that he was going to be going out to see Peter.  
“I have an actual mother fucking date!” He leaped into the air clicking his heals together.


	4. Flying phones and blood splatter

Weasel, that cold hearted bastard, called exactly at six when he was supposed to be meeting up with Peter. He was standing outside of Maria's Kitchen, wearing his suit again, mask and gloves in place. Wade had had a long debate with Sparkle Hooves (who is actually okay with him dating Peter) whether to wear the mask and gloves or not. But he figured he was going to be nervous enough as it was, he didn't need to add paranoia, anger and other uncomfortable emotions brought up by asshats staring at his skin. So the gloves and mask went on.

“Seriously man, I have a date...” He said as soon as his editor stopped ranting at him for more than five seconds. He had banged out two whole chapters more than his deadline for the week called for and submitted them to Weaz for editing (the guy liked to stay up to date on where Wade was in his work so that he wouldn't be slammed at the end with editing. He had a shit ton of other things he had to do, not just editing. One of those things, apparently, was bitching at him.

“You have a date, and I'm the queen of England.” Weaz snorted his eye role audible over el cancer causing microwaves beaming down to his phone. “Now, really, what the fuck is this shit you turned in?”

“What about it?” Wade growled taking the defensive. His work was far from shit, in fact Wade felt it was his best writing to date. He glanced down at his Adventure Time watch, his eyes bulging nearly out of his head. What the fuck! It was already six thirty! Wade looked up and down the street eyebrows furrowing as he tried to pay attention to Weaz and look for Peter at the same time. He was late...had this whole date thing been a joke after all?

Wade's heart started to sink into his stomach, god, he couldn't cry in public and not over the phone with his jack ass editor.

“You don't write romances, Wade, your readers don't even WANT to see erotic romance novels from you. They read your crap for the raunchy sex between homosexual and pansexual couples, not for the plot. You've written five chapters and there's still no sex! How the hell do you think I'm going to sell this? You'll make me a fucking laughing stock if I publish this! I expect sex in every chapter Wade!...” And the chewing out went on and on. Wade stopped listening about ready to hang up and throw the damned device against the brick wall he was leaning against.

Maybe he should just go home...if he stuck around, Peter would probably be by with his friends to laugh at him. And Sparkle Hooves had been so happy for him. But then again his unicorn had way more faith in people than he had any more. It was hard to believe in the kindness of the human race when you've been verbally and physicals abuse by people who were supposed to say things like 'thank you for your service!' And it's impossible to see the light of hope that is man's future when faced with complete indifference from doctors and nurses at the veterans hospital. A place where he was SUPPOSED to be able to go and receive care after getting himself blown up to save this god damned hypocritical country! What happened to mankind's compassion? Where was the attitude that founded this country and had made it great, “give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breath free”?

He did hang up then tears stinging his eyes his hand clutching the Samsung in his hand with an angry snarl he threw it as hard as he could up the street.

“OW!”

Wade nearly jumped out of his skin; oh shit he had hit someone! Wade tried to swipe away the tears under his mask to see better and froze when he realized he had thrown his phone right into Peter's face. Now the teen was bleeding and clutching the phone that had hit him looking utterly confused.

“Nice...catch?” He managed to get out his heart sinking all the way into his feet now. He was going to be sick...how the hell had he managed to fuck his day up even more? Wade should have just crawled back into bed and stayed there after all.

“I am so sorry!” Peter exclaimed instead of turning around and leaving, one hand coming up to pinch his nose trying to stem the flow of blood. “I was suppose' to 'e off at five, 'ut thenm mby douche 'ag teacher spru'g a surprise quiz onb us to replace la' timbe since everyonbe had 'axed out their la' timbe earlier inb the week...so I thought I would 'e off 'ut I had to spe'd a whole extra hour at work an' thenm I had to cha'ge so I would look bnice an'...”

“What?” Peter handed him back his phone using his now free hand to take Wade's drag him into the restaurant. The greater looked up and flashed a smile grabbing two menus before she noticed the blood and froze eyes going wide. Peter ignored her and tugged Wade into the men's restroom.

Peter held up one finger before he turned to a sink and started to wash the blood off of his face. The bleeding had already stopped when he reached for a paper towel to dry his face on. “I was saying, my teacher was a douche and gave us a pop quiz to replace lab time. I thought I had time off. Enough to go get changed and get down here 'cause I didn't need the lab time. I put in my hours earlier this week. So, I got out of class late and had to RUN all the way home because the buses would have taken too long...then I had a clothing crisis...but I'm here now. And I'm sorry I'm late. That...fit you had...that wasn't because of me was it?” He asked further drying his face and blowing his nose eyes going wide as he finished speaking. “Oh, please don't tell me I pissed you off!” He sounded seriously worried as he moved past Wade to toss the gross paper towels.

“Sort of? It was more than just that...I've been kinda having a pretty crappy day and my stupid editor was yelling at me...” He sighed and shook his head, “Can we just pretend that didn't happen?”

“Yeah, sure, if you can pretend I wasn't late? Or...have blood on my favorite shirt. Damned it!”

“Is that cotton?” Wade asked already moving closer to Peter unbuttoning the soft handsome shirt. Peter was blushing and Wade tried hard not to grin, it was even cuter this close up.

“What are you doing?” Peter squeaked not stopping Wade as he finished buttoning the shirt revealing a tight gray T that showed off the teen's well sculpted body.

“Can I have your shirt for a second?” Wade asked hands already going to Peter's shoulders nudging the button-down of Peter. “I'm sort of an expert in blood stains.” He said with a shrug. Peter gave over his shirt and Wade carefully ran the blood spot (it was only a small dime sized dribble) under cold water. That rinsed most of the stain out but there was still a clear blotch where the blood had been. Turning off the tap he kind of spread the shirt out over the sink before reaching into his pants pocket to pull out a small bottle . He dumped its contents out on the counter beside the sink and began to mutter to himself as he sorted through a vast array of pills. He picked two out and swept the rest back into the bottle pocketing it again. Peter just watched on in awe as Wade crushed the pills to dust with the butt of a knife he had stashed in his inside jacket pocket. He scooped the crushed pills up with the edge of his knife and dumped it onto the stain running a little more water over it until the pill dust was a sludgy past. “Now, let that sit for like a half an hour or so and that stain will be completely gone.” He picked up the shirt carefully twisting up the wet, pill covered part so that the paste would stay and work its magic before handing it back to Peter.

“That was...a lot of pills...” Peter had no idea what else to say. It was like watching some advanced lab demonstration that he didn't quite understand.

“Yeah, well I'm a lot fucked up so I need a lot of pills. It's just aspirin actually. There's a lot of stuff that can get blood out but seeing as I don't have peroxide, vinegar, baking soda or saline solution on me. Pain killers had to do.” God now he was feeling awkward as fuck and Peter was looking at him as if he had just written out a unified field theory equation in three simple mathematical phrases that absolutely worked. If you don't know what that is, take a quantum physics class or three. “Well...I'll just be going now...” He pointed to the door scooting around Peter trying to keep his distance. Wade had probably scared the kid enough as it was.

Peter stepped into Wade's path and threw his arms around the man pinning the veteran's arms to his side. “Thank you so much Wade.” He mumbled against Wade's chest before he pulled back blushing a shocking shade of red. “It's just...Uncle Ben bought me that shirt...just before he passed.” And now there were tears starting to well up in the teen's eyes.

Shit, Wade had no idea how to deal with crying people. He put his hands up not sure if he should touch Peter, hug him, give him a pat on the head or what.

The teen gave a weak chuckle shaking his head, “C'mon I'm fucking starving, lets get this date started before I do something else embarrassing.” He swiped at his eyes putting on a cheerful smile before he slung his shirt over his shoulder and took the lead heading out of the restroom.

Wade just grinned and followed Peter out, relieved that he hadn't had to figure out what to do with the emotional moment. And hey! He hadn't scared Peter off with his large stash of opioids and benzodiazepines (Which shouldn't ever, NEVER EVER, be mixed kidos, or prescribed together for that matter. Unless your doctor is an idiot who works at the veterans hospital where no one cares if a doctor kills a few patients.)

 

 

Peter almost choked on his chimichanga he was laughing so hard. His mirth had long sense brought tears to his beautiful eyes for all the right reasons. He managed to swallow and took a slip of his virgin margarita (which he had never had before but Wade had recommended), it was pretty damned good. “I mean, really, llamas?!”

Wade was laughing too. He was having so much fun he had actually taken his mask off when their food had come and he hadn't even realized it. All of his attention was on Peter so he didn't even notice if people were looking at him or not. Reaching across the table he took Peter's hand in his own and gave it a squeeze. “Have you ever tried to fish llama turds out of a pool before?” He wheezed laughing even harder.

“I can only imagine!” Peter snorted noticing their linked hands flashing a smile at Wade. “So...you're a writer of some sort?” It was hard to stop laughing but he managed it as he stabbed the last bite of his food. For the most part they had just chatted about random stuff. Wade had told a few stories from when he was a Marine, and 'somehow' him and some guys had gotten their hands on some llamas...and Peter had talked about how he was raised by his aunt and uncle. Nothing too serious but now Peter was curious about Wade.

“Yup, that's me, fiction writer,” Wade said with a blush, “But you wouldn't have read anything I've written...I uh sort of write Pansexual and homosexual erotica.” He started to fidget a little worried what Peter would think about his job...but he really shouldn't be worried. Wade knew Peter wasn't one to judge, he worked at a porn shop...but he was still nervous.

“Wow...actually, I might have read something of yours. I uh...” He was blushing too now as he pushed his plate away putting his free on his chin, propping it up with his elbow. “Well, I like homosexual erotica first off...being bisexual. But from time to time I have to take literature classes...I HATE literature...so if the teacher lets us read and analyze a book of our own choosing or something like that, I pick porn.”

Wade burst out laughing again, that was a clear middle finger to the teacher. He liked giving the middle finger to asshats that thought they were smarter or better than him...and college professors DEFINENTLY acted like stuck up know-it-alls (he had tried to go to college for all of a week before he punched his professor and walked out forever). “That's brilliant!”

“They don't dare say anything because, it's not like they specified a genera, author or anything. So, do you have a pen name or do you just publish as Wade Wilson?”

“Ah, I publish under the name Deadpool...” He was pretty sure Peter wouldn't have read something of his...it wasn't like he was a Victor J. Banis or a Carl Corley. He did try for serious content in his work but Weaz didn't let him get away with much so he would always be at the bottom of the barrel, an unknown pulp writer. Sometimes it made Wade pretty depressed.

Peter's eyes went wide, “I HAVE read something of yours! 'The Unicorn Fantasies,' I picked it up last summer while on vacation, so I would have something to read while I sunned myself on the beach. It was REALLY good.”

All he could do is blush and try and act like it was no big deal. Wade didn't much like praise, even though he got a lot of it when he went to book signings for his non-erotica novels. Taking a draft from his beer he decided to change the subject, “So, you're in college?”

“Yeah, I'll be graduating in another year.” Peter said stroking the back of Wade's hand enjoying the interesting texture. He had gotten Wade to take his gloves off mid meal; insisting that it wouldn't freak him out or anything. Peter was glad he had gotten his way despite the scaring Wade's skin was super soft.

“Woah, but you're only nineteen, you have to be like a freshman still...surely.” Wade said finishing off his beer. Flagging down their waitress he asked for the check ready to blow this taco stand. Maybe Peter's place wasn't too far away and he could walk the guy home, keep this date going for a little bit longer.

“Yeah, I uh...I'm sort of an over achieving nerd. I take classes in the summer as much as I can because that semester is cheaper and the teachers are more laid back...” Peter was blushing letting Wade have his back, “I usually get beat up and picked on for it.” He looked to Wade as if he was expecting Wade to suddenly turn mean and start bullying him too. The kid must have been through some pretty shitty situations to think Wade would be a dick like that.

“That's horrible...I get asshats coming to my book signings just to call me a fagot. Even had some guys jump me outside a bookstore once. They didn't know whom they were fucking with.” Wade sighed rolling his eyes as he took the bill only glancing at it briefly because in all honesty he could afford to actually buy out Maria's if he wanted to. A thirty dollar dinner bill was like a thirty cent bill to other people. He slipped his debit card into the holder and set it aside.

“Wait, you are NOT paying for all of this, are you?” Peter asked glancing from the little black book to Wade his eyes narrowing. “I can afford my own meal, Wade.” He sounded offended.

“I know you can Peter, but this is a DATE. Either you pay for everything or I pay for everything. I'm no Dutch treat. That's how dating works, at least...that's how it worked I was your age. You can get the check on the next date, okay?” He said firmly, smiling when the waitress zoomed by like an eight armed cyclone and took the book before Peter even noticed she had. And when he DID notice he pouted.

“Okay...this time.” He grumbled.

“Does that mean I get to have another date with you?” Wade asked his eyes sparkling with joy. It wasn't very often that he even got to talk to someone as smart, handsome and funny as Peter was. Even if Peter decided just to be friends, Wade would be okay with that. He didn't have many friends in New York.

Peter blushed and smiled now his indignity forgotten, “Yeah, I was sort of hoping for a second date.” He gave a shy shrug as he rubbed the back of his neck. “This was a lot of fun.”

“Well, the fun pool doesn't close until ten p.m. Do you live nearby? I could walk you home.” When he got his card and the receipts he gave their waitress a fifty dollar tip (because it's fucking ridiculous that they expect these people to live off of tips and a federal tipped person's wage of 2.13 a hour) Yeah, sure, New York tries to balance the tips and federal wages out so their waiters are getting 7.50 a hour. But have YOU tried to live in New York City on 7.50 a hour? Apartments cost THOUSANDS, not hundreds of dollars here.

Standing Wade held his hand out to Peter who picked up his discarded button up shirt and accepted the veteran's hand. They left the restaurant laughing and talking in hushed whispers as they joined the growing swarm of humanity going out on a Friday night.

“I actually live near the Adult Underground store.” Peter gave his address and Wade almost stumbled and fell. “Are you okay?”

What were the chances? Maybe this was fate interceding upon his behalf to provide a better life...for once.“Yeah! I live in the same apartments! Which floor are you on?” The apartments they both apparently lived in wasn't more than two blocks away from Maria's Kitchen. They crossed at a light skipping like idiots over the cross walk, holding hands again.

“The seventh.” Peter said pulling Wade a bit closer to his side as they strolled enjoying the gentle evening breezes together. Neither were in a hurry to get home even though it now appeared they probably lived right on top of each other.

“Me too!” Wade said smiling down at Peter who looked as shocked as Wade had felt when Peter had told him that old familiar address he called home. “What's your apartment number?”

It turns out that they were living right across from each other and never even knew it. Wade wasn't too surprised he hadn't ran into Peter before, he could hear everything going down in the hallway and on the stairs from his living room. He never left his apartment when he could hear people in the halls. He didn't like interacting with his neighbors...now though, he would have to change his views around.

Wade and Peter arrived at their run down home base, “Wanna race?” Peter asked playfully as he mounted the first steps beyond the front door.

“First one to the seventh floor?” Wade asked and Peter nodded. Oh it was so on! Little did Peter know that this old crazy veteran had taken up parkour to keep in shape. It wasn't like he was going to tare up his legs if he did a little high impact exercise every day. Everything in his legs were already broken and torn up there wasn't anything LEFT to fuck up by running or parkouring around town. Wade didn't hold back to be kind to Peter, leaping like a Rock Hyrax up the stairs past his date moving so fast it made the kid look like he was standing still. He never held back when it came to races. Peter would just have to get better or learn to except defeat. Wade made it to the seventh floor while Peter was still on the fourth. Breathing hard he started to laugh. “What do I win?!” He shouted down to Peter who didn't seem miffed at all by Wade winning.

When Peter finally reached Wade, “How the hell did you do that?” He asked huffing for air obviously not in as good shape as Wade was, that's okay. Wade didn't mind a little pudge on his men.

“Lots and lots of running and parkour. Exercise helps keep me a bit saner, and besides, I got to take care of this awesome body.” He motioned to himself. He may not wear this suit very often but that didn't mean it wasn't expensive and hand tailored to fit him perfectly. He looked damned good in this monkey get up.

Peter smirked his eyes actually traveling down and back up. “It IS a pretty awesome body.” He admitted with a wink as he walked right up into Wade's personal space, “Bet you have a tight six pack for me to rub against,” He purred a hand running over Wade's stomach.

Wade became rooted to the spot trembling slightly at Peter's touch. That was an innuendo if Wad had ever heard one, “I uh...” God he was blushing like a frigin' virgin here. Just when he was getting his thoughts back into order Peter moved away leaving Wade there at the top of the stairs confused and a bit horny.

“I can't wait to find out how ripped you really are...in a few weeks.” Peter was standing by Wade's apartment door now leaning against the wall looking sly, sexy and perfect with that shit eating grin on his face.

“Tease!” Wade declared meeting Peter in front of his door. He had no problem with getting a few more dates behind them before they jump into bed together. If Peter hadn't been just teasing him he would have insisted on it...because most guys don't last a few weeks with him. And if Peter broke it off after a couple more dates, at least Wade wouldn't have the sticky web of sexual tension keeping them from being just friends. “So, you just have to rinse the aspirin off your shirt and the stain should be gone. If it isn't, bring your shirt over to my place. I have actual solvents made to get blood out.”

He dug his keys out fitting them into the door not expecting anything more. People didn't kiss him, not when they saw his face. The fact that Peter wanted to go out with him again was a blessing in and of itself. Wade was NOT going to push his luck.

“Hey, Wade...” Peter said softly just as Wade opened his door intent on slipping in without parting words. He turned towards the teen wondering what Peter wanted only to be nearly knocked off his feet by said teen flying into him. Peter latched onto him, arms around his neck, leaning up on tip toe until their lips were almost touching. “I want my goodnight kiss.”

There was no choice in the mater it seemed, Peter pressed against Wade his soft lips meeting the older man's in a chaste kiss. Wade carefully put his hands on Peter's hips leaning down so the teen wasn't on tip toe any more. Their lips met again this time far more sensually. Peter was so soft and warm and his lips plush in all the right ways. He lost himself in the feel for a few seconds before they broke apart. “G'night,” He mumbled knowing his cheeks were burning scarlet.

“Goodnight Wade,” Peter said with a huge grin on his face. He untangled himself from Wade hands lingering on the veteran's broad shoulders for a moment before Peter was turning away and letting himself into his own apartment. Wade watched him go.

“Hot damned.” He muttered to himself. He could still feel Peter's lips against his own.

 


	5. Excuses to Mingle

Whoever was knocking on his door at...Wade glanced to his clock radio, it was seven in the fucking morning...was going to die. He was going to shoot the mother fucker right between the eyes. Grumbling, Wade rolled out of bed, Sparkle Hooves under one arm as he stomped towards the front room. Despite his anger Wade approached the door with caution grabbing one of the many handguns just in case things went south.  
“Wade?” It sounded like Peter on the other side of the door. The veteran opened the door a crack gun discreetly aimed at a kneecap. He wasn't even comfortable opening the door this far with someone on the other side...what if they saw his skin? “Oh, you are up...or did I wake you?” Peter asked looking nervous. He had the button-down shirt from last night in his hands fidgeting with it.  
Wade put the pistol back on safety and holstered it in the shoe holder hanging nearby before swinging the door all the way open. He was a little hesitant about letting Peter see so much of his skin...but the guy had seen his face and hands last night and had still wanted to kiss him. “What's up Pete-Pie?” His anger at being woken so early was long gone by now, he could never be mad with Peter, he stepped aside motioning for Peter to come into his humble abode.  
“Well, um, you said to bring my shirt back over if the stain didn't come out and...” He stepped into Wade's apartment looking around in mild surprise, “They let you paint the walls?” Peter was indicating the soft shade of pink Wade had picked out for his living area. It went well with his rich, wine red sofa and love seat.  
“No,” Wade scoffed, closing the door he went to the love seat flopping down on it. He was only wearing boxers (Peter was lucky he hadn't gone to bed naked...) “But they can suck it, I hate the color white, especially on my walls...so, come here, let me see this stain.”  
Peter hesitated for a long moment his eyes wandering over Wade's chest and down to his ratty boxers before finally making it back up to Wade's bright blue eyes. “Uh, yeah the stain..” Peter was blushing as he walked closer, sitting next to the older man offering him the shirt.  
“Like what you see?” Wade asked trying to make it sound like a joke but he was a little worried with the way Peter was staring at him. Was he disgusted by all the burns...or maybe it was the raw patches or the new bleeding cracks that had opened up from him moving around. Maybe Peter could only tolerate seeing his face and hands? Wade held up the shirt for inspection in the early morning light.  
“Your skin looks like it hurts...” Peter said softly reaching out running his fingers gently over Wade's upper arm. He had had a tattoo there once, but the fire had damaged the deeper layers so badly it was just a twisted blob of random colors now.  
“Yeah, it does but the good ol' government has given me all its best, legal, narcotics for the pain. I don't see a stain here Petey-Sweety.” His brows furrowed but he took a closer look anyways, not even a trace of blood remained from last night.  
“Okay, you caught me...I was just using it as an excuse to come see you before I have to go and be an adult.” Peter confessed blushing a deeper shade his fingers tracing a meandering path over to Wade's broad chest. He pressed his hand flat there smiling at the feeling of his boyfriend's heart beat. “And I didn't want to just...you know, come over. I thought I would look too...needy or something and scare you off.”  
“Baby boy, you can come over any time. You don't need an excuse or anything, you could be, like, the clingiest guy in the world. That wouldn't change my opinion of you.” He put an arm around Peter's shoulders drawing him closer. Their eyes locked, and suddenly Wade felt too hot, his mouth too dry. God, he wanted to kiss Peter...crawl right into his lap and kiss him breathless. Then rut against him until he came in his ratty old boxers. “Buuuut I should probably go take my meds before I forget.”  
He was up and off the couch faster than lightening leaving Sparkle Hooves on the couch with Peter as he headed into his kitchen. “Wade, I don't bite you know...unless you want me to.” Peter called to him from across the living space. The teen remained sitting on the love seat. “And if you didn't want to kiss me you could have just said so.”  
Wade was blushing as he dug through his prescription bottles. He had a pill box that could organize the different pills he needed to take from morning, noon to night but he didn't like the thing and it sat forgotten somewhere in the apartment. He just popped the variety of pills from their respective bottles onto the counter until he had an accurate count of seven pills. He kept a cup of water there on the counter so he wouldn't have to go in search of. He gulped the meds down before he decided to answer Peter, trying not to feel bad about that hurt sound in the teen's voice “Oh, I want to kiss you baby boy. But in my state I might not be able to stop. Besides, I felt it would be a little...sexual predator of me to kiss you with a boner and only one date under our belts.”  
Peter snickered, “Yeah, I noticed your morning wood. Kinda hot to be greeted at the door by a hard penis. It's okay Wade, no one can completely control their bodies, and morning wood is a natural occurrence. I really don't mind getting a little poked for a kiss.” The teen got up from the couch then sauntering into the well organized kitchen. Wade had a spice rack beside the stove, a huge, industrial fridge (why did he need one was a question for the ages), and a knife block bigger than any Peter had ever seen before. “Like to cook?”  
“Yeah, besides writing I don't have any other outlets for my creativity...cooking sort of provides a different way to express myself.” He finished off his water setting the cup aside ready to take Peter into his arms as the kid stepped into his personal space.  
“I can't stop thinking about our kiss last night,” Peter said softly resting his head against Wade's chest his hands running over Wade's side pausing at the man's hips. “Maybe we could order dinner in tonight and watch a movie over at my place tonight? Make out a bit?”  
That gentle touch and the press of Peter's young, chiseled body against his was not helping Wade's morning erection go away. But Peter, true to his word, didn't seem to mind that Wade was poking him in the hip, “Sure, slumber party!! Hey, can Sparkle Hooves come over?”  
The teen looked over his shoulder to the couch where the unicorn sat innocently watching them. “As long as he's clean, of course he can come over.” Peter said with a smirk, “How is he anyways?” Coming from anyone else such a question would be a barb but Wade knew for a fact that Peter wasn't making fun of him, the kid was too nice for that sort of shit.  
“Very warm on those long cold bachelor nights.” Wade sighed dramatically loving the giggle he got from Peter. “When do you have to leave?” Wade asked not wanting to make his boyfriend late to anything. Especially if it was to work.  
“Mmmm, too soon. In the next five minutes really.” Peter said glancing to the stove clock. “I had hopped for a drive by kissing with this visit, or would be that be a kiss and run?” Peter's brow furrowed in the cutest way as he thought about his horrible pun.  
“I think a kiss and run is the superior play on words there darling.” Wade leaned down to kiss Peter's furrowed brow before they shifted and slotted together like two puzzle pieces. He ran his hands up Peter's back turning them so that Peter was against the counter. “Up.” He ordered between kisses. Peter hopped up to sit on the counter putting them on level height.  
Their mouths met again, open and hot. Wade moaned softly when Peter's tongue swept into his mouth he chased after it wanting a taste. But Peter was intent on teasing him and pulled away with a chuckle a hand running over the back of Wade's neck. “Is it bad that I already want to jump your bones and I hardly know you?”  
Wade shrugged, he didn't have all the god damned answers here. If he did he wouldn't be on two antidepressants, an anti-psychotic, and a truck load of pain killers. “I feel the same way,” He said softly resting his forehead against Peter's his own hand running through Peter's unruly locks. “Is it okay if I touch myself every time I think about you and those sexy lips?”  
Peter's giggle sounded absolutely delighted. “Hey, if I can, who am I to judge you if you do too?” He wrapped his arms around Wade's neck, “Now, show me how strong you are and carry me to the door over there.”  
“Aye aye captain!” As Peter scooted forward off the counter Wade grasped Peter's firm ass cheeks holding the teen up. By Thor's hammer, Peter had a gorgeous ass. Peter wrapped his legs around the older man's waist too drawing a soft groan from Wade. “Fuck, you're grinding right against ol' reliable there kiddo.”  
“Good,” Petere whispered his breath ghosting hot over Wade's ear making the man shiver hard. He walked Peter over to the door pressing him against the wall beside it. “If I didn't have to go to frigin' school I would let you rub one out on me but...” He unwrapped his legs from around Wade and settled back down to the ground. Leaning up he pressed a tender kiss to Wade's lips his hands running over his bald head massaging his scalp. “I'll be back at eight this time...and we'll see where this goes. How does that sound?”  
Wade stole one last kiss before he gave Peter room enough to open the door and slip out. “Yeah, sounds great. See you later Pete.” He sounded raspy and breathless. It probably had something to do with the fact that all his blood was in his dick. Wade locked the door behind his baby boy before he stumbled over to the love seat collapsing into it. “Is it just me or is he the biggest sexiest tease ever?”  
Sparkle Hooves would have to agree with him, he had seen the whole thing unfold there before his very own plastic eyes. “You're not...jealous are you?” Wade asked his unicorn picking him up plopping him into his lap. He could already see in Sparkle's eyes that his unicorn was endlessly forgiving if he had been jealous. “I just have so much love, it has to be shared, you know?” Not that he had to explain himself, Sparkle had already told him he understood polyamory quite well. Wade gently stroked a hand down the unicorn's back.  
“You think I could...” He bucked his hips a little his erection pretty uncomfortable where it was trapped in his boxers. There was a wet spot forming on the front of them as he and Sparkle pushed them down and off. Together they hurried to the bedroom for lube, “fuck I just want to pound into you right here and now.” He panted slicking himself up then poured a small amount into Sparkle's tight little ass hole making sure to close the damned cap this time.  
“Dogy style? Oh you dirty little unicorn.” Wade growled positioning Sparkle on the edge of the bed. Kneeling behind the unicorn he slammed into him without warning. The squeal he got in turn had his head swimming. Would Peter make the same sexy sound if he entered him too hard and fast? Or would he just moan like a filthy whore? Either option was absolutely okay in Wade's books. “Hold still,” Wade panted pinning the unicorn down as he squirmed and tried to thrust back against Wade's massive cock. If Sparkle Hooves kept that up he wasn't going to last longer than a few seconds. And while a quick ending would help with the throbbing in his dick and roiling lava in his belly, he wanted to draw things out. Let his imagination have a little romp.  
When he felt like he wasn't about to explode like a stick of dynamite he started to thrust hands moving to massage Sparkle's hips. “You take me so well,” He moaned watching himself thrust into the unicorn's perfect ass. What a sight. His eyes rolled into the back of his head when Sparkle Hooves clamped down around him drawing him deeper, massaging him just right.  
Already, Sparkle knew just how to push all of Wade's buttons. He had started out slamming into the unicorn slow and hard but he couldn't hold himself back when those muscles were clenching and undulating around him. Wade sped up panting harshly against Sparkle's ear he brought a hand up to tease and stroke the unicorn's horn.  
“You like that don't you?” The sounds Sparkle made when he stroked his horn just right...Wade could just imagine Peter making those sounds under him as he pounded his ass and stroked his cock. The fire in his stomach was spreading, his cock aching to spill into Sparkle's amazing ass but the pain in his knees was growing too and making it hard to concentrate on getting off.  
Pulling out, Wade moaned at the sight of himself twitching and dribbling pre down Sparkle's flank. His unicorn was leaking lube and pre from his ass only adding to the insanely hot mess. Climbing onto the bed he laid himself out so Sparkle could mount him this time. They both loved this position and Sparkle Hooves knew it, his eyes sparkling as he gazed down at Wade.  
“What are you waiting for?” Wade whined bucking, rubbing himself along Sparkle's stomach “Or do you want me to make a filthy mess out of you?” He watched, jaw dropping as his unicorn licked his way down and...god Sparkle's mouth was even better than his ass. Did unicorns even have gag reflexes? It didn't seem like it as Sparkle took every inch of him with practiced ease. “AH!” Was all Wade could say as his brain burnt out.  
He thrust frantically into Sparkle's mouth racing towards the finish line with every last ounce of energy he had. “YES!” He sobbed out, one last hard suck all it took to throw him over the edge. Wade clamped a hand over his mouth to keep from crying out Peter's name. He didn't want to insult his unicorn but he could just see Peter there between his trembling thighs drinking down his cream like an over sized kitten.  
“Oh fuck,” He panted collapsing, going limp just basking in the glow of a great orgasm. He stroked Sparkle's mane, helping him crawl up when he decided he was done with Wade's cock. “C'mere, let me snuggle you.” Wade slurred arms wrapping securely around Sparkle Hooves. He was starting to drift back towards the land of Nod but that was okay. He was ahead of scheduled even if Weaz DIDN'T like what he turned in. That bastard would accept it after a few days and a few more re-reads. So he could afford a nice snuggly nap with his unicorn.  
“Mmm, love you too Sparkle.”


	6. Thai fighters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!!!  
> Wade has a panic attack with a flashback. This might trigger some of you. It triggered me for damned sure, so PLEASE be careful reading this chapter.

The time table was exact. Seven o'clock, his laundry was done and folded, Sparkle was fluffed and ready for the night after his exhilarating ride in the washing machine (Sparkle's words. His unicorn had spent his whole time in the washing machine and dryer singing loudly and off tune). Wade hummed to himself the song his unicorn had been singing on the cool down cycle, bustling about the kitchen letting his unicorn nap on the living room couch for the moment. Thai food was on the menu for tonight, his recipe scheduled to take exactly an hour to cook so that it would be finishing up just as Peter was arriving home.  
Sure, the kid had said something about ordering in but why bother with take away when he could cook better than most of the places in the Queens Borough. He put the chicken in to broil in coconut milk and lime juice just before he had started the laundry in the drier. Now it was time to start the rest of the meal, twirling over to his cutting block with a platter of vegetables for his pad thai...wait did pickled turnips and radishes count as vegetables if they were preserved? For that matter, did banana flowers count as a fruit or a vegetable? Eh, did it matter? As long as Peter loved his cooking...  
He had searched the city high and low after his nap for the things he needed for this meal. Banana flowers, fish sauce (the good stuff made by a grandma that didn't speak a lick of English), fresh rice noodles (he couldn't make them on his own), tamarind pulp, and palm sugar. Everything else had been easy to find in a regular supermarket. Especially in the little Thai shop he had gotten half his supplies from .  
Wade started Pandora up on his phone and cranked the music to full blast needing the heavy beats to help him multitask. Palm oil to start frying the eggs and tofu up keeping an eye on it as he put his rice noodles in water to soak. Okay, the chicken would be halfway cooked by now. He pulled it out taking the chicken out of the marinade to cool on the side. The vegetables were tossed into the wok to fry as soon as the egg was cooked through. Next the noodles were drained and tossed in with the fish sauce garlic, palm sugar, tamarind pulp and shalots.  
This recipe was something he had picked up from a whore he had banged in Bangkok. Don't ask him why he had been in Thailand, that was still classified. The chicken had to be cut up, it was pretty hot but ever sense the accident he didn't feel heat or cold that well through his skin. It made it easy to chop up the cooked chicken and toss it in with the noodles to soak up some of that fish sauce and finish cooking through. He stood there stirring everything over high heat keeping a close eye knowing just when to pull the wok off the stove.  
Shit, was that someone coming up the steps to this floor? He gave the content of his wok a quick flip up into the air before he moved it to a cool burner and darted for the door opening it a crack to peak out. Sure enough here came Peter, earbuds in, rocking out in a baggy t-shirt and cargo shorts. The teen didn't notice Wade until the veteran was grabbing his wrist dragging him into his apartment with a huge grin on his face.  
“Wade?” Peter was startled but not mad, he took out his headsets so he could hear Wade properly.  
“I know you said we'd order in but I thought I'd cook for you.” The food was just about done now so he tugged Peter into his kitchen giving him a small tasting dish with a few noodles,vegetables and protein. “Tell me what you think.”  
“What is this?” He asked even as he tried the food he was given. Peter moaned as the exotic flavors filled his mouth. “Fuck this is good Wade.”  
“Better be or it was a waste of money buying that hooker to teach me how to cook.” He said with a smirk, “This is pad thai, it's basically Thailand's version of Japan's yakisoba or China's pan fried noodles. And if you haven't had any of those other dishes I'm going to fix that as soon as I can.” He took down his best china dishing up their dinner, giving more to Peter because, quite frankly, he didn't have much of an apatite since he started his psych meds for the PTSD and schizophrenia.  
“Thank you...for this..I mean...” Peter was pretty speechless, he hadn't had anyone cook for him like this before. Sure, Aunt May had cooked for him plenty but never anything this complicated. “Uh, lets take this over to my place , I picked up 'The Forest' on my way home.”  
Wade sent Peter on ahead so he could turn off the stove and cleaned up a bit before going over to his apartment. He knocked on the door but found it unlocked and he let himself in. The lighting was soft , provided by strategically placed lamps around the room. “Snazzy place you got here.” Wade commented setting his plate of food and a bottle of wine down on the coffee table in front of Peter's one and only couch. He turned his attention to the many photos that covered the ugly white walls, “You into photography?”  
“Yeah...had to take an art class my freshman year of college, photography was so fun I just sort of kept doing it after the first class...got to take the next level class last year and I think I'll take a third one my senior year. Should I get glasses for this?” He pointed at the wine bottle, he wasn't going to make a fuss about the fact that he was underage. It was clear that Wade had put a great deal of thought and effort into this dinner.  
“Yes please,” He came over and sat on the couch taking out a bottle opener from seemingly nowhere. “While this breaths, I've got something for you in my apartment still.” He winked at Peter who had came back with the glasses.  
“Really? Wade, this is more than enough for me...you didn't have to.” But Wade was already up and off the couch hurrying back to his place to grab the single red rose and waking Sparkle up so he could watch the movie too. Carrying his unicorn and the flower back to Peter's place he blushed the second Peter's beautiful hazel eyes fell on him.  
He presented the flower for Peter's consideration setting Sparkle carefully on the armrest of the sofa so he could kneel before Peter and offer the gift up to his boyfriend properly. “I saw this and thought that your beauty eclipsed that of all roses ever grown. All flowers for that matter.”  
Peter found himself unable to speak again tears stinging his eyes. This was sappy as fuck but no one, not a single one of his other dates had ever been THIS poetic or romantic with him. Maybe it was because Wade was a writer, he was more prone to hyperbole than others. Even still he took the flower bringing it up to breath in its sweet scent. “Get up here you goof.” Peter rumbled patting the seat next to him, “our food is getting cold.”  
They got a vase for the rose and set the rose on the coffee table before starting up the movie and snuggling together to eat their food and drink the wine (a sweet German white with very little alcohol).  
“You know I've been there?” Wade whispered to Peter trying not to interrupt the movie too much. He had taken jungle warfare training in Okinawa and when that finished up he took the chance to go on a week long vacation before heading back to the states. Wade had gone around to some of the places he had wanted to see the most. Aokigahara AKA The Sea of Trees was one of them. The Green Tree Field is the literal translation of the characters that make up its name. The name was so innocent one would never suspect the dark history and mythology of the region. Old men and women being abandoned in the thickest parts of the forest to starve to death (or die from exposure), hikers and travelers going missing, and the bizarre geology that render compasses, GPS systems and cellphones completely useless. It was like a land based Bermuda triangle. Nothing had compared to that trip.  
The movie was okay (there was a serious lack of Japanese culture and mythology that made the whole thing jarring) but then, the best part of whole evening was snuggling with Peter and comforting the teen when he jumped from fear. Although Wade was pretty sure that Peter was just pretending to be scared so he could stay close as possible to him. Hey, he wasn't going to complain not when Peter smelled so good (he had buried his his face into the boy's hair at some point).  
When the credits started to stream across the screen, Peter took their dinner plates into the kitchen, “I'll clean these and get them back to you.” He promised coming back over to the couch. Instead of sitting next to Wade he straddled the man's waist, wrapping his arms around Wade's neck. “Shall we pick things up from where they left off this morning?”  
“If you want to,” He said softly running his naked hand through Peter's soft hair. He would be happy just having dinner and a movie and a bit of kissing. But if Peter wanted to take things further? Wade already felt a deep connection to Peter something odd and a bit scary drawing out feelings, wants and desires he had forgotten he had. He wanted so desperately to be loved.  
Just looking into Peter's eyes had Wade breathless, heart racing in his chest. When their lips met he felt as if he had been struck by lightening every part of him sparking, electricity glittering down to ever last nerve along his skin. There was no words needed here, Peter knew exactly what he was doing it Wade's mind and body.  
Peter only broke away to pant for breath his small delicate fingers tracing the line of Wade's high cheekbone. They melted back together after the teen's breathing slowed back towards normal. Tongues met and Wade groaned softly into the kiss letting his hands run from Peter's full cheeks down to another set of cheeks he was greatly interested in.  
“Wade,” Peter whimpered when the veteran's strong hands grasped his as firm cheeks, giving them a gentle massage.  
“We could slow down...” He whispered to Peter only to have his words devoured by Peter's hungry mouth. He tasted of the wine, sweet and earthy, Wade discovered as he licked into the teen's mouth. Peter pressed closer, moaning at the feeling of Wade heating up and hardening under him.  
The young man had put a lot of thought into this last night and during the day today. He never moved this fast, but everything about Wade Wilson titillated him and he wanted to give this sex thing a try. Yes, he was a virgin but he knew that Wade would be gentle with him. Breaking the heated kiss, “Wade I...” He tried not sure how to convey everything about himself to this beautiful man without having to take a time out and keep them up all night talking.  
“It's your first time?” Wade said voice sweet and understanding as he nuzzled his nose against Peter's throat. He could tell, because if Peter really wanted this (and had experience), the teen would already be pawing at his clothes wanting them off. Lack of movement beyond kissing was a sure sign of a virgin.  
“Yeah but that's not all of it.” He bit his bottom lip shivering lightly at Wade's touch. One hand had broken away from Peter's fine ass to slid around and grope his crotch.  
Wade frowned finding Peter completely flaccid. Something deep inside of Wade flash froze chilling the lust he had been feeling. “You know...” He bowed his head his hand slipping away to rest on Peter's thigh, “If you didn't want to have sex with me you could just have said so.” Wade used his superior strength to push Peter off of him. “I know I'm disgusting. Okay, you didn't have to pretend like you're attracted to me to spare my feelings.”  
Standing up he didn't even glance at Peter so many feelings whirling in his stomach that he wasn't sure he could even LOOK at the kid without losing his ever loving mind and hitting something.  
“But that's not it!” Peter exclaimed scrambling to stand too. Wade backed away from Peter keeping an eye on the kid's feet not letting him back into his personal bubble. This was, after all, what happened when he let people get too close to him. He got hurt. Either physically or emotionally. It didn't matter which sort of wound was inflicted, the results were still the same. “I'm not technically bi, it's more complicated than that and this” He pointed at his crotch Wade noticed but ignored the gesture, “has everything to do with it. If you just sit down I can explain myself!”  
That caused a moment of pause but then, Wade reminded himself, he had heard bullish stores like this before. And from better actors than Peter. They could at least get it up for him in the beginning. He turned and stormed out of Peter's apartment his eyes blurring with tears. Wade definitely wasn't going to stay and hear Peter's made up fairy tale as to why he couldn't get it up for him.  
He could hardly see his door through the flood of tears that had started to fall but he managed to get into his apartment and get the door locked before he heard Peter come to the hall for him. All at once he was back in Iraq trapped in the closet of some ramshackle house. He had managed to escape, dislocating his thumb to slip the cuff on this right wrist but his keepers had noticed almost at once and he had ran into a dead end corridor. His captors right on his heals The only hiding place, the closet he was in now mentally.  
They had been coming to torture him some more, when he had escaped, he had heard them coming for him. He couldn't take another day of acid baths and knives flaying his skin off his chest. If he could escape maybe he could find something to kill himself with. So he had tugged his arms so hard that his thumb had finally gave way.  
And there was shit nothing in the closet. Someone was pounding on the door. It sounded so far away.  
Slumping to the ground he made himself small in a corner pretending that if they didn't hear him they would think he had magically escaped somehow. He wasn't ready when the door flew open and one of the larger men snatched him up by what was left of his hair dragging him from his hiding spot. Wade was so overwhelmed that he didn't even feel the pain.  
In reality Wade had made it to his coat closet closing himself in hardly able to breath much less think of anything other than PAIN.  
Pain, fuck everything hurt and he just couldn't take it anymore. Why did everything have to hurt so damned much? “Please, please let me die god?”


	7. A Tale of Idiots

The next day, around noon. Stark Tower  
“I didn't even get a chance to tell him.” Peter exclaimed hands running through his hair yet again making it so messy it was beyond fixing now.  
“I am so sorry to hear that. But do you remember when you first started seeing me?” Doctor Banner asked his voice maddeningly calm even after Peter's nearly hour long rant. Okay so Peter was exaggerating by a lot, his story had only lasted fifteen minutes. But Banner's calm approach was still annoying. “And I asked you go out and have fun and be okay with turning people down if they tried to pick you up?”  
Peter heaved a heavy sigh, “Yes...” He had gotten some people pretty angry at him They had said he was a tease and a ice cold cunt...and those were the nicest things they said to him after he had turned them down. “Never wanted to see you again after going through all that.”  
“And where are you now.”  
“Seeing you, don't rub it in you smug ass hole.” Peter grumbled not seeing the connection this had to Wade and what had happened last night.  
“Well, Wade'll come back around, just keep texting and calling him until he realizes that he had judged your intentions wrong.”  
“But he's not even answering his phone and I'm worried that he might have hurt himself or something!” Peter exclaimed letting out more of his anxiety about this whole situation.  
“Did you inform his friends and family as I advised?”  
“Yeah but he only has A friend, singular, and I'm not even sure Wade likes him all that much,” He just wanted to break down Wade's door and go to him, reassure him that his lack of performance had nothing to do with how he looked. God damned his life he had bad luck though!  
“If you two keep calling him and he doesn't pick up after a few days, by law, you are aloud to enter his place or send cops to do so. To check on his well being. I know it sucks Peter, but you have to give him his space. At least for now.”  
Peter gave a tortured moan flailing and collapsing back onto the couch he was sitting on.

 

'Wade, I love you. Please come over to my place I want to explain things to you.'

'It's me again, Wade. I'm worried about you, can't you at least give me a call so I know you're alive? I can hardly even breath with how bad I feel, 'cause I do love you Wade. Just...thought I'd let you know that again.'

'I thought I heard you moving around in your apartment, give me a call?'

'Some of my friends were over today, they took one look at me and were worried I wasn't eating enough. I'm not...'cause I can't eat. All I think about is you and what you must be going through...I am so sorry I hurt you this badly. Please, call me Wade? Please?'

'I found your editor guy ….thingy. Wesley? I told him what happened between us. I was hoping he could maybe talk to you about what happened if you're not willing to talk to me. But he hasn't heard from you either and that only makes me even more worried Wade. At the very least, give Wesley a call? Let him know you're okay?'

 

Wade had let his phone die and not because it was too much of a bother to get out of bed and get the charger for it. Wade had just gotten sick and tired of Peter trying to call him...and when Weaz had joined in? Well he had had enough.  
Why did they even bother trying to call him? He knew neither of them cared, not really. Peter was trying to save face, as if he would tell anyone that Peter was a jackass that strung people along. And Wesley? Wade Wilson was just a paycheck and no one just let a paycheck walk away (if paychecks could walk away.) So his phone battery died and when it still irked him by its mere presence on his bed side table, he threw the piece of shit across the room mildly satisfied when it burst apart and littered his carpet with broken bits.

 

“Fuuuucccckkk,” Wade groaned waking up a few days after he had destroyed his cell, his body hurting almost as much as it had right after the explosion and fire. He deserved it. Seven people had died in that explosion...then the rest of his team had been torture to death because he didn't know anything. Wade had posted their photos to the wall, all of them, not just his friends from that mission. They had gone up before he had even set his bed up in his new apartment. He had stuck the photos of their families there on his wall too because he needed to know what they looked like. Because he needed to keep an eye on them from afar, check in on them from time to time and above all else, he had to keep them safe. It was the least he could do after getting their children killed.  
But right now, looking at the pictures of all the men he had murdered and their families he had let down couldn't make him feel any worse than he already did. No point in staring at them if he wasn't able to suffer Wade turned away from the pictures shivering hard, teeth chattering as he contemplated the door across the room. The pain wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the chills he kept getting. Every time his muscles quivered his bones (or what was left of them) in his legs felt like the were grinding together. He probably should have gotten up and taken his meds but he hadn't felt like getting out of bed after crawling into it all those days ago, still drowning in the dregs of his panic attack.  
How long had it even been since Peter had thrown it into his face that he was an ugly piece of shit? Three, four days? More? He had lost count after crying himself to sleep for the fifth time in as many hours. Wade remembered that his room had been dark just a little while ago when he had gotten up to take a piss, everything shrouded in shadows and darkness that felt threatening. As if his captors had followed him back to New York and were hiding where he couldn't see them just waiting to pounce and drag him back to jail. Despite the terror and tearful self loathing he had fallen asleep as soon as he had dumped himself back into bed. The extreme cold had woken Wade this time and the bright light flooding through his window blinded him. He couldn't get warm, not even under all the blankets he owned, not even with the hot summer sun turning his room into an oven.  
Someone was knocking on his door, nothing new, despite his no soliciting signs people came to bother him about religion, neighborhood BBQs and get together all the damned time. He usually didn't answer the door but there were some days when he felt well enough to scare the shit out of people with his ugly face and skin. Today defiantly wasn't one of them.  
“Wade?”  
The front door had been opened, his perimeter breached. Wade fumbled for the gun he kept under his pillow almost too weak to lift the bulk of metal up off the bed. He was trembling too hard for a gun to even be effective but he was ready when the footsteps neared his bedroom door. “Wade?”  
“It's us, Wade, Peter and Wesley.”  
“I told you to call me Weaz...”  
“That's a horrible nick name,” The door opened and Wade tried to click off the safety and shoot those two bastards. How dare they break into his apartment! But he didn't even have the energy to get the thumb bolt to click over. “Wade?”  
Wesley got between Peter and Wade gently taking the gun away from the veteran, “For the love of...look at you, you've gone off your meds again haven't you?” Despite the irritation in Wesley's voice he did sound worried too.  
“Fuck you,” Wade said voice hoarse and barely above a whisper, “get out! I'm not finishing your damned book for you.”  
Peter pushed Weaz aside an angry look on his face. Wade was ready for him. He sat up hand coming to press against the side of his head as it gave a sickening throb. Great, these asshats were giving him a fucking headache. “Don't worry sweetums, I'm not going to tell anyone that you dated me or led me on or anything so you can both leave now.”  
“I'm going to go get his meds,” Wesley said softly leaving Peter in the hot bedroom alone with Wade. They had already talked things over and Wesley and agreed that Peter needed time alone to talk (beat) some since into Wade.  
“If you think that is what this is about, you're a fucking idiot!” Peter snapped stomping over to Wade's window AC and turning it on because it was hot as balls in Wade's bedroom. “You never let me finish what I was going to say. You're going to hear me out. Then...then if you don't like what I have to say, then I'll leave you alone. Okay?”  
Wade opened his mouth to complain but Peter wasn't going to put up with any sort of bullshit. Peter gave the older man a look that could have leveled mountains, “I'm on antidepressants. They obviously don't do the same thing to you but they give me erectile dysfunction. So it's hard to get it up.” Suddenly the teen was blushing scarlet despite still looking pissed enough to chew rocks. “It's embarrassing so I didn't know how to talk to you about it.”  
Wesley came in with a cup of water and Wade's pills in his first, “You're going to take these. And if you act this stupid again me and Peter are going to tie you up with a big pink ribbon and deliver you directly to your doctors at the Veterans Hospital.” He dumped the rainbow of pills into Wade's outstretched hand before handing over the water. “Give me a call later Peter.” He made a quick retreat from the room.  
Peter waited until he heard the front door close. “Go on then, take your meds.” Peter urged using the same stern glower that had made Wade hold his tongue.  
The pills disappeared into Wade's mouth followed by the whole glass of water. Peter took the cup after Wade had finished, setting it aside on the man's bedside table. “And, the second half of the problem is, I'm Demisexual Wade.”  
“What?” He asked looking confused. Was he just not understanding or mishearing what Peter was saying? It probably didn't help that he was in a mental fog and it was pretty hard to think clearly.  
“Demisexual...it's in the asexual spectrum. Basically we're not sexually attracted to people for their physical traits. We only become attracted to people we have emotional connections to. And even then sex isn't something...I mean...a lot of Demisexuals just aren't interested in sex.” Peter said and it was clear by the look on his face that he was trying his best to explain this in a way that Wade would comprehend.  
“If you didn't want to mess around, you could have said so.” Wade said still feeling so very cold inside. Peter couldn't get it up because he didn't want to have sex period? Or was it because the kid just didn't feel anything for him? In some ways that felt worse than thinking that Peter just wasn't physically attracted to him. He was basically saying that he wasn't into who he was as a person.  
“I did, Wade. So very badly. I have never felt this way about a person before.” Peter confessed taking Wade's hand in his own making Wade look him in the eye. “I had given up on ever meeting someone I'd feel attracted to. But my shrink kept pushing me, telling me that if I never put myself out there, never risked feeling bad, I never would find love. So I was supposed to flirt with people. See how things went.” Peter shrugged and looked away then blushing again, “I didn't flirt with many people because I ended up meeting you. You were just so funny and cute the first day we met. I told my shrink about you and he suggested I should ask you out and see where things went. I am so happy I did as he asked because...well, you make certain parts of me...VERY happy.” Now he was a vivid scarlet one hand trying to hide his burning face.  
“Awe, you make my dick pretty damned happy too, Peter.” He shot back and all at ounce they were both snickering, pushing at each other as if they had been friends forever. They called back down, “You...wanna snuggle?”  
“I would love to.” Peter said and they rearranged themselves, Wade under the pile of blankets shivering again, Peter playing the big spoon holding Wade close. “How are you cold?” Peter had to ask because it was still pretty damned hot in the room.  
“Withdraw.” Wade said simply locking his fingers with Peter's holding the teen's hand. “I felt like crap so I didn't really get out of bed for a while...stopped taking my pills. Let me tell you, people think withdraw from narcotics is hard and painful. They have no idea, detoxing from Paxil is the worst pain I've ever felt in my whole life.”  
“Speaking of antidepressants and detoxing...me and my shrink are working on getting me onto meds that won't mess with me...” He gave Wade's hand a squeeze, “And don't you DARE stop taking your meds again. You know how dangerous that is?”  
“Yes I do, MOM,” Wade grumbled the shivering finally starting to settle down. Maybe it was because Peter was holding him, sharing his body warmth through all the blankets or his medications have started to work easing the withdraw symptoms. “Didn't really care about what was going to happen to me when I decided to stop.”  
Peter went quiet for a while. Wade shifted, turning in the teens arms to gaze into Peter's eyes. “Wade...don't...if you ever feel that bad, tell me. I don't want to lose you too. You and I need to take our antidepressants and take care of each other.” Tears began to sting Peter's eyes and Wade's hand untangled itself to catch a single sad tear.  
“I promise, I don't want to lose you either Peter.” Peter shifted leaning in with the intent to kiss. “I wouldn't do that if I were you baby boy. I stopped personal hygiene too, my breath is probably disgusting enough to crumble diamonds and melt tungsten.”  
“Don't care,” Peter declared capturing Wade's lips in a slow sweet kiss. Peter only pulled back when Wade pushed on him lightly, “I will always miss kissing you Wade Wilson. I am starting to think I need it like I need air to breath.”  
Wade snorted out a laugh scooting down to nuzzle into Peter's chest still so very tired. Again, withdraw from Paxil? Should just be renamed to paxhell because Wade would rather go and burn in hell than feel the way he did at the moment. Sick to his stomach, no appetite a headache that put any hangover to shame, the chills, depression, the odd electric shocks that assaulted his brain at random intervals and tired weakness.  
He hadn't even realized he had started to doze until Peter shifted carefully settling Wade back against the pillows at the head of the bed. “I'll be right back, I'm going to go change into my Pjs. I think we both need a day snuggling in bed.”  
It was only then that Wade noticed the dark circles under Peter's eyes. Eyes that looked to have been crying hard for days. And, had Peter lost some weight?” It looked as if Peter had stopped eating after Wade had stormed out of his life. Fuck, every time he messed up he destroyed other people's lives why did god keep letting this happen? Did the guy have some sort of sick sense of humor that involved torture?  
If god were a man he would probably kick puppies and drown kittens. Wade decided, “Hurry back.” He said as Peter got out of bed.  
“Always will for you Wade.” He smirked and tipped Wade a wink that seemed to bring spring back to his heart. The ice there was starting to melt.  
Wade was asleep before Peter had even left his apartment. When the teen got back into bed with him he subconsciously curled around him clinging to Peter like a second skin. “And look at you, you even SLEEP cutely.” Peter mumbled to Wade's sleeping form putting an arm around Wade tucking the unicorn he had brought over between the two of them.  
He was pretty sure that Wade would be happy to see Sparkle when he woke up. Peter had been a little shocked that Wade had left the unicorn at his place, he had thought the guy loved the creature with all of his heart. It at least seemed like it when the guy had bought the toy. He didn't quite understand the attraction himself but he recognized a Pansexual when he saw one and he wasn't going to judge someone for their orientation. After all, who was he to judge when he tended to fall in love with his friends and couldn't get it up to save his life?  
“I love you Wade Wilson.” He whispered closing his eyes needing the rest almost as much as Wade did.


	8. A Way to Wake Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smex!

Poke....Poke....Poke

Peter groaned batting at the hand that was prodding him. “Sleepy,” he whined snuggling further against his pillow. Why was someone trying to wake him up? It was a Saturday, his boss was MAKING him take a day off (because he didn't want to take a day off, damned it!) and he didn't have classes or homework over the weekend. Couldn't he sleep in on one of his rare days off?

A warm body closed in around him, pressing against him in all the right ways. “Wade?” He mumbled cracking an eye open to look towards the alarm clock curious as to what time it was...and wait, how had Wade gotten into his bedroom? They had picked up dating again deciding to slow things down. So it wasn't like he had given Wade his apartment key or an invite to stay the night at his place. And, sure they really wanted to fuck each other senseless but Wade still wasn't feeling good because of the few days worth of antidepressants he had skipped and Peter had just changed meds in hopes of solving his erectile problem. So why would Wade come over even if he had a set of keys to Peter's place?

“Yeah?” Wade rumbled against Peter's ear his tongue darting out to lick along the shell. The older man felt so hot pressed against his back...and-Oh, was Wade hard as a rock, pressed between his bare ass cheeks. Peter was quickly waking up.0

“How did you get in here?” Peter asked spreading his legs slightly shifting against Wade's length gasping softly at the feel of his feverish skin rubbing against his most sensitive area.

“You left your keys in my place last night. Figured you might want them back.” He would have chuckled at Wade's words; he sounded so honest and innocent, as if what he was doing was an utterly selfless good deed. But he was much too interested in how GOOD Wade was making him feel. Peter glanced out of the corner of his eye seeing Wade's clothes in a heap on his floor. And he was pretty sure that he was getting hard here.

“Well that's nice of you.” He said yawning shifting his hips again, his hand traveling south to touch himself. Yup, he was definitely getting hard. Glory holes be praised. “So why are you dry humping my ass?”

Wade moaned softly his lips traveling down over Peter's throat now exploring the expanse of sleep hot skin there. “Because I woke up horny as fuck and Sparkle Hooves is still asleep.” He was starting to dribble pre along Peter's heavenly crack slicking things up, making it easier to move. Good, because no one wants to chafe in such privet areas.

“His loss, my gain. Mind if I join in? I mean, you humping my ass is fucking sexy as hell and I wouldn't mind you blowing your load on my back but...I want to see your face when you cum.” Wade was off his back leaving Peter feeling almost cold. He shivered rolling onto his back between Wade's strong muscular thighs.

Neither of them had seen each other naked yet so there was a lot for Peter's eyes to take in as he settled on the bed. He groaned softly at the sight of outrageously fine muscles flexing above him. And Wade's dick? Peter's mouth was watering already wanting a taste of that seven inch long veiny meat. “Wade, why haven't you gotten naked for me sooner?” His hands were already running up the man's thighs delighting in the way they trembled under his fingertips. “I can't believe it...” He paused eyes wide as he grinned up at Wade, “You're the first person I've ever found sexy.”

“Pete,” Wade looked like he had when he first found the stuffed unicorn. If he were a cartoon he would have hearts in his eyes....or stars. “Fuck! We were supposed to be slowing down...crap. I'm sorry I shouldn't have...” Wade looked towards his clothes but Peter stopped him in that train of thought. Yanking Wade down Peter kissed him hard.

“We've had enough time taking things slow, you're obviously feeling better, I'm hard as a diamond, let's fuck already.” Peter growled into Wade's mouth rocking his hips up to rub against Wade letting him feel just what he was doing to him.

Wade gasped into the kiss a hand coming to tangle into Peter's bed head hair giving it a gentle tug to change the angle and deepen the kiss. They started to rock together their kisses becoming a messy battle of tongue and teeth. Wade's large hand sneaked down between them wrapping around both of their cocks giving them a squeeze starting to stroke them together.

Peter gave a throaty groan hands finding Wade's ass cheeks clutching them desperately as they rutted together into Wade's hand. “Fuck, feels s' good Wade,” He whined throwing his head back exposing his throat not at all surprised when Wade attacked it with all the fervor of the moment. His hands left Wade's ass to run up over the man's back, “Mmm, just like that.” He wrapped his legs around Wade's waist instead. Peter's hand cupped the back of his man's head keeping him at his throat soaking in the feeling of those rough, chapped lips teasing all the right spots.

Someone grabbed lube pouring it over their hard lengths, and Peter's hand joined in helping Wade's trembling fingers stay on task. “'s okay Wade,” Peter Whispered as their lips met again. He knew he wasn't going to last long, not with the way Wade kept thumbing at his head every upstroke. If Wade was as close as he seemed to be, Peter wouldn't mind watching him cum before he got his happy ending.

“Love you,” Wade moaned into Peter's hot mouth before his lips slipped away and he buried his face in Peter's throat. Peter had never heard a man make the noises Wade was, at least not in the porn videos that he had. HE was making Wade make those sounds. Peter brushed his fingertips roughly over Wade's nearly purple cock head, “GNNNN! Fuck!”

Wade's face flushed and contorted into a look of utter bliss as he came. Peter tried to memorize the beauty of it but Wade hadn't stopped stroking him, his grip tightening thumb circling Peter's head non-stop. “WADE!” Peter gasped unable to hold back the tide a second longer and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't keep his eyes open as he orgasmed.

Reality sort of faded out for a little while the sounds of their heavy breathing filling Peter's ears. He managed to peal his eyes back open and he smiled up at the ceiling. Dr. Banner had been right. It was worth all the trouble to find that one person he could connect with enough to want to have sex. Wade was heavy but Peter didn't want to be anywhere else. He wrapped his arms around Wade squeezing him as tight as he could because he was never going to let this guy go.

At least he wasn't going to let him get out of bed anytime soon. It WAS his day off after all and if he wanted to spend it all in bed screwing like bunnies with the guy he was deeply in love with, well so be it. “You free for today or does Wesley expect you to write some chapters for him?”

“That name shall never be mentioned while we are naked. It is a sin and a crime against how sexy we are together!” Wade declared shifting and rolling off of Peter so he wouldn't be crushing the kid any longer. “No, I don't have a thing to do all day...oh...wait. I do.” He shot Peter the cheesiest grin he was capable of.

Peter groaned and face palmed, “that was the worst pun I have EVER heard come from you mouth.” He looked to Wade a fond smile coming to his lips. He didn't mind Wade's horrible puns, actually, he found them funny. Not that he would ever admit it. That would only encourage Wade to create more, maybe even worse puns. And he would not subject the rest of the world to that.

“You love it.” Wade teased rolling to scoop Peter into his arms turning into the massive snuggle bug that he was.

“Maybe...but you know I love YOU more than your bad word play.” Peter, being demisexual, was actually more into the cuddling and pillow talk than the sex. Don't get him wrong, Wade made him feel spectacular but that was just the oddities of his sexual orientation, or lack there of.

“Yeah?” Wade said softly sounding serious all of a sudden.

“Yes, I do. I love you Wade.” They shared a lingering gaze before they kissed softly exchanging Eskimo kisses. “But I swear if you wake me up early again on a day off like this, you won't be hearing those words or seeing me naked for WEEKS. Get me?”

Wade pouted eyes going puppy dog wide, “You wouldn't do that to me!”

“Try me.” Peter couldn't help the smirk that came to his lips. Okay, so maybe he wouldn't do it for WEEKS but maybe a few days. He did enjoy being able to actually sleep in. It was a rare luxury for him.

“Awe, but Petey, I woke you up in the best way possible!” Wade was obviously trying to win Peter over by nuzzling him and stroking his back soothingly.

“You POKED me awake!” Peter cried actually a little grumpy about that fact...even though it had ended up being pretty damned okay with the hand job and now the cuddling.

“Okay, I won't poke you in the mornings, but can I wake you up with surprise blow jobs?” That soothing hand on his back moved down to stroke his hip and Peter couldn't help but notice his body was taking an interest in how that hand was moving.

“I think that would be okay. But while we're on the subject, you still have to make it up to me for waking me up with a poking. A hand job just isn't going to do.” If a hand job felt as good as it had he could only imagine what it would feel like to have Wade's mouth around him...or Wade's tightly muscled body. Yes, his body was definitely becoming interested in further play.

“Anything baby boy.” Wade growled rolling on top of Peter, pinning him to the bed like he had the moment he had climbed into bed with his lover.

 


	9. Bath Buddies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow update folks! Me and my partner are looking to move closer to the Veterans' Hospital but the housing market is on fire here! We're going to see houses almost every day and they're almost always gone before we even get into town to look at them. Very very very stressful. So I haven't really been sleeping...or eating...or doing very well period. I will update as my anxiety and schedule allows.
> 
> Also, I have deliberately placed a grammatical error in this chapter. If you can spot it and accurately describe the rule that I broke, THEN and only then, can you criticize my grammar. And comma placement doesn't count as those rules are subjective as hell.  
> Now, if you find a spelling error, please, feel free to correct me. I have an extremely hard time with Homonyms and homophones (words that sound alike but are spelled differently, and sounds that are similar but are spelled differently.) I had a damned hard time learning to spell until I started to learn Latin (and Latin doesn't cover the spelling of half our words!) and learning German screwed with my ie ei use, so I always need extra eyes!  
> If you're curious as to what Wade said, google it ^^ that's the fun of learning!

“Wade?” Peter knocked on his boyfriend's apartment door again. It seemed no one was home, no, he was pretty sure he heard Wade singing loudly in there. And if that was the case, the idiot probably couldn't hear that there was someone at his door. Peter took a deep breath reminding himself that in every relationship there will always be something your partner does that will tick you off. He dug out his key ring and let himself into Wade's place.  
They had exchanged keys a little while ago just for times like this. Well, actually, Peter had given Wade his key because he liked his boyfriend sneaking into his place to wake him up with sex. He also liked coming home to random boxes of chocolates in his fridge and bad love poetry stuck on his fridge by a magnet. Wade may be able to write porn like a pro (and his prose weren't bad either) but his poetry sucked hard boiled eggs.  
He made sure to close and lock the door behind him. Wade didn't like his door left unlocked and Peter understood the real reason. Sure, they weren't in the best side of Queens but Wade wasn't afraid of burglars. Peter was more afraid for the poor idiot whom tried to break in some day. He had seen the guy's gun collection and Wade could leave every window open as well as the door with a sign reading 'rob me please' and he would be perfectly fine. No, what Peter had come to realize was that Wade had post traumatic stress disorder. The door had to be locked at all times because Wade felt like someone was going to come and take him hostage again.  
Peter had once pointed out that no one in there right mind would do that if they knew how many guns the man had in his living room alone. Plus he could USE those guns better than anyone Peter had ever seen (they had gone to a gun range for one of their dates). No one would take Wade alive. But it was the unreasonable fear that came with an anxiety disorder like PTSD...plus, apparently, Wade had been beaten about the head so many times he now had schizophrenia. Which only made the anxiety about his front door worse.  
“WADE!” Peter called out a bit louder now. You did NOT sneak up on a trauma patient. He had learned that the hard way when he had gone with Wade to the Veterans' hospital. Peter had just been walking from the elevator back to the break room to patiently wait for his boyfriend. Minding his own business not thinking about what he was doing he just walked into the darkened room and half the people sitting around in the uncomfortable chairs jumped and gasped like he had slapped them. One veteran who had been by the door grabbed his arm, twisting it behind his back and slamming him against a wall. The girl had apologized profusely and explained herself, not that she needed to in Peter's opinion. He apparently walks around like a ninja.  
When Peter had followed the caterwauling to its source he found the former Marine sitting in a huge expensive looking tub that definitely hadn't come with the apartment. Peter held back a snort and an eye role. Wade was splashing about like a child a few rubber duckies in with him, the water an unnatural bright pink that smelled strongly of cherry blossoms. Of course Sparkle Hooves sat safely out of splash range on the sink counter. Peter himself stayed back not wanting to get wet either (there was a small flood around Wade's tub from the splashing that clearly indicated Wade's distance).  
“Bestrafe Mich!” Wade sang quite off key to the song that was playing on his new phone which was also on the counter and out of splash range. Thank the phone Gods or it would probably be just as dead as his last one. “Oh Peter, bestrafe mich, bitte.” What ever Wade was saying must have been sexual in some way judging by the lust filled eyes he turned on Peter.  
“So...uh...” Peter had no idea how to respond to something like that.  
“Don't worry baby boy. I know, double date in an hour with your friends.”He splashed some water at Peter but the kid had fast reflexes and jumped back.  
“And you wanted help?” He had gotten a text as he was getting off of work a few hours back asking him to come over an hour before they were supposed to leave. But it looked like he didn't need help...per-say.  
“Yeah actually.” Wade stopped his playful splashing about looking all too serious suddenly as he looked down at one of the duckies that had floated closer to him. “I mean you don't have to if you don't want to, I know it's disgusting...”  
“Wade,” Peter said gently bending to pull his socks off so he could come closer. Wade looked troubled and he didn't like that look on his man's face. “Just say what you need to say. You know I will never judge.” He knew from first hand experience that when Wade started to babble about how ugly he was he was gearing up to be treated like shit. And Peter got it. Wade hadn't been treated well after his medical discharge. But he weren't all those other jackasses out there.  
“I need help scrubbing the dead skin off my back and cleaning up the wounds back there.” Wade mumbled looking uncomfortable, talking to the duck he had taken into his hands instead of to Peter. Another defense mechanism that Peter had picked up on a while back. It all just made him want to scoop Wade up into his arms and sooth him then and there.  
“I'd love to help, if you promise not to splash me.” Peter came over and knelt beside the tub taking in how bad Wade's skin looked in general. So, today was a bad skin day. Wade had them every few days and he couldn't help but wince, it had to hurt. There were large oozing cracks in Wade's back and they looked to be infected; all red, swollen and angry.  
The older man smirked from ear to ear and glanced to Peter, “I can't promise that and you know it. Splashing is in my nature. But I will try my hardest not to give into my baser urges. You look too good in those shorts and t-shirt, wouldn't want to make you change.” Wade shifted, carefully moving so that his back was to Peter. There there was more than enough room for him to sit like that, shoulders slumped a little. “Use the stuff in that white bottle there.”  
Peter was careful, taking a small amount of soap into his palm and water into his other lathering the gel up before he gently touched Wade's back. “Like this?” He started to spread the soap trying hard not to do more than brush his fingers over the worst of the wounds.  
“I'm not made of glass Pete, I took a fuck ton of pain pills before this so I can hardly feel what you're doing back there anyways. You need to get that soap into those wounds or they'll just get worse.” He looked over his shoulder his earlier bright smirk fading a little, “Then I won't be able to lay down and spread my legs for you.”  
“Aren't you NOT supposed to take baths with burns like these?” Peter asked firming up his touch grimacing as dead skin came away from some spots like from a sun burn.  
“Yeah, but these aren't burns. Just normal sores. My skin gets too dry and splits open...then the wounds get infected because I can't clean them out right and I seem to have a roaming herd of staff bacteria buffalo.” He started snickering again this time at his very bad joke.  
“I could always come over and take care of your back if you can't reach.” Peter's hands swept up and over Wade's shoulders starting a slow sensual massage. “Wash out the wounds, bandage them...apply lotion. Whatever you need,” Peter had seen Wade and his giant bottle of lotion a few nights back when he had stayed over, he had thought 'cheep lube' until he realized that Wade was slathering the stuff all over himself, every inch. Besides, Wade had a wide range of lubes, flavored, warming, stimulating and others, so lotion was a poor substitute. And, they had just fucked like rabbits for two hours so, masturbation? He would have been surprised if Wade could get it up again for the next twelve hours.  
“Mmmmm,” Wade moaned slumping into Peter's capable hands, “I would love that very much. Especially if they all come with nice back massages like this.” Peter went back to work concentrating on washing out every open, oozing wound before rinsing Wade's back off and returning to massaging his boyfriend's broad shoulders. There were some tight kinks under his fingers that spoke of pent up anxiety. Wade didn't go out much, let alone to see other people, and Wade had confessed that he was a bit afraid of meeting Peter's friends tonight.  
“They know about the PTSD and one of them is a psych major so you don't have to worry.” Peter's thumbs dug into twin knots on either side of Wade's spine. Wade gave a painful sort of groan but the kinks were coming out quickly as the man melted in his hands. “They'll be careful around you.” He shifted, kissing the back of Wade's bald head lovingly.  
Peter noticed slight movement across Wade's shoulders and down into the right arm as he trailed soft kisses down the back of his boyfriend's neck. He frowned and followed the movement with his eyes, “Oh my god! Really?” Peter squeaked realizing that the man was touching himself. Why was he so embarrassed by this, it wasn't like he hadn't seen this before. In fact he watched Wade masturbate for a little bit before he decided he couldn't keep his hands to himself any longer.  
“Hey, it feels good.” Wade said the pout clear in his voice. “Besides, we're staying out late with them and you have work in the morning. It's not like I'm going to get any love for ol' reliable here.”  
He sighed resting his forehead against Wade's shoulder a small smile coming to his lips. Wade was so... “Fine, you have a point but if you think I'm just going to let you play by yourself, you have another thing coming.” Peter ran his fingers down over Wade's muscular arm tracing the bulging muscles until he had his hand wrapped around Wade's. “Show me how you like it.”  
Wade bit off a whimper, hand starting to move again, nice slow and firm, “Follow the vein up, just like that.” He let Peter take over melting into the younger man, his head rolling back to rest on the teen's shoulder. “Play with the foreskin a bit.”  
They turned into an awkward kiss one of Wade's wet hands tangling into Peter's hair totally wrecking it. But the kiss was so perfect, the moment so right that he didn't give a shit that Wade had just wrecked a hair style he had worked on for almost an hour. He brought his own free hand up to cup Wade's cheek keeping them in the unnatural angle deepening the kiss.  
Everything about Wade Wilson was beautiful, even his skin was gorgeous in an untraditional way. Peter traced the deep scars that etched lines over a perfect cheekbone even as his fingers explored the silky scars that crisscrossed Wade's cock. He had come to love certain scars on his boyfriend's amazing body. That very second his thumb was massaging one that always made Wade look a bit sad even when he was laughing.  
“Fuck,” Wade gasped against Peter's mouth his hand turning into a fist in Peter's hair. “Right there baby.” He squirmed bucking up into his lover's hand every time Peter's thumb brushed over just the right spot on the glands.  
Peter took a slow deep breath trying hard not to be turned on by this...(hard, hah, a pun worthy of Wade's repertoire.) Wade looked so beautiful sprawled out before him trembling for his touch, actually begging for it now.  
“Please, Pete, you're driving me insane here!”  
“You weren't there already?” He teased devouring the cry of pleasure that slipped from Wade's pouty, perfect lips. Every time he massaged the head of Wade's dick he was rewarded with a little cry or gasp. He watched Wade's eyes flutter shut before he kissed each lid gently hand running right down to the base of his lover's dick giving it a firm squeeze. “Want to cum for me?”  
Wade gave a pathetic sounding whimper and nod his hand slipping from Peter's hair. He spread his legs one hand fondling his balls the other disappearing bellow. Peter knew how much Wade liked his little pucker to be massaged especially when he got close. Peter sped up his strokes his other hand leaving its resting spot too.  
A pert hard nipple greeted Peter's wandering fingertips and he gave it a friendly tweak instead of a proper hello. “Cum,” He breathed low and sexy against Wade's ear feeling more than seeing Wade go tense against him.  
“AH!” Wade sobbed doing just what he was told, spilling his seed into the pink bathwater and Peter's wonderful hand. Peter pumped him through the waves of pleasure never letting go of him until everything became too much. “Pete...”  
He washed his hand in the water before he moved to stand, hissing as his knees popped and groaned in protest. Kneeling always did that to him, screw the runners knee he used to get in highschool, this shit hurt worse. Peter grabbed a towel from the linen closet and helped Wade get out of the tub. “Now what?”  
“Shit, let me have a moment to at least catch my breath! I'm not a kid like you,” Wade grumbled but still let Peter help him to stand up and step out of the tub. He didn't feel like bending over to unplug the tub so he just left the chilling, heavily scented water. “Bedroom...gotta dry them off and put this cream stuff on them.” Wade hobbled like an old man, mostly because Peter had made him cum out the part of his brain that remembered how to walk.  
Peter got Wade laid out across the bed pulling out the kit that the man kept in his nightstand. Peroxide, germolene, gauze, medical tape, you name it, Peter found it in Wade's kit. Taking out what he needed for the job, he straddled Wade and set to work carefully smearing ointment and placing bandages.  
When he was done he realized that Wade had fallen asleep under him. Smiling he shifted and carefully got off of Wade's back. Taking out his cell he shot a quick text to his friends pushing their dinner plans back at least an hour or two. Wade didn't sleep well or very often. He wasn't going to wake the guy up to go eat dinner when he probably wasn't particularly hungry and would just fidget and pick at the bad patches of his skin.  
Grabbing a worn blanket off the end of the bed he spread it out over his lover leaning in to give him a fond peck on the cheek.


End file.
